My mom scheduled me an appointment after telling her that my suicidal thoughts have turned into me full on planning to kill myself. I wish I didn’t tell her, but it just came out. Maybe part of me doesn’t want to die. Maybe in reality I just want to be saved.Â I’ve been on the same medicine for about 2 and half years now, but now it seems like I need something different, something stronger. I really do deep down hope that I can get better, but really this is it. This is going to be my last attempt to get better. Because I am mentally broken down. And just mentally fed up with life, I don’t want to live in this world anymore, the only reason why I’m still here is because of my family. Thats the only reason why I don’t want to kill myself. Blech, this is just mostly me rambling. pray for me.