I always have been. I can’t help it. I’m too shy to make friends on my own and I’m too unattractive for someone to actually want to be my friend. I can’t help it.
Middle School has been complete hell for me. I’m constantly being called the fictitious label, “emo” and nobody seems to treat me right. I know everyone else is young, naive and immature but at the moment, I don’t think I can take much more of the snide remarks and comments.
I can’t remember that last time I got a hug. My best friend doesn’t even give me hugs anymore since suspicion sparked up that we were lesbians. Even if that rumor had been true, why should that matter to her? Six years of friendship and you really care about other people starting rumors that you know are false?
My best friend and my only friend (previously mentioned) seems to not care for me anymore. I can’t just say forget her and move on with it. I have to stick with her. She’s all I got. But she’s getting better friends. Pretty friends. Friends that I can’t compete with. Some nights, we’re close again, and everything feels alright. But by morning, I forgot why your words comforted me. I see it in your eyes. You truly stopped caring about me.
Then there’s the string of lies I live in on the internet. My name is Erin. But, I can’t even convince myself that half of the time. I’m not that beautiful girl everyone sees in those stolen pictures. It’s just the girl who I thrive to be. I just can’t be happy being myself.
And if I don’t want to be myself. I can’t be that other girl. I might as well be nobody. It all just seems so simple.
I’m not naive. I’m quite intelligent. I know that life could get better. I just don’t want to stand around and wait for happiness to come while I’m alone and suffering. It’s not worth it.
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4 comments
well guess what… you just made a friend..me… i feel you and have been alone 2 all the time…even now… and i know it is hard but please try to slowly get more friends on here…it really helps you out cause we here are nice people
hang in there ! good luck and strength
well you know there are many people in this world who have no friend at all and i am a nice example of it. It really sometimes happens that due to some reasons you have no friends left at all. well what you can do now is involve yourself completely in this (virtual) world, make friends here and trust me, it is a good alternate way. though if you are at high school, you will have to wait to get to collage or untill job, dont forget there are billions of people in this world and you will, of course get true friends, maybe not now, not tomorrow, after things will change. and if you ever need any kind of help or want to talk to someone i will be there 🙂
Hello. I’m fifteen and I can totally relate to everything you’re going through. I still get made fun of sometimes, but when I was younger I was made fun of a WHOLE lot. I mean it was everyday I would get called ugly or pimple face or just whatever. It was seriously just an everyday thing of me to get made fun of. You’re friend you speak of? Honey she is not you’re friend if she’s going to be embarrassed because of some silly rumor. I think you seem amazing. Really truly amazing. You will do great things in this world dear. I promise you. You’re intelligent and you’re only in middle school. You will find friends, you just have to branch yourself out there. I know its hard. And I do the virtual world too, I’m a whole different person I am on the internet than I am in real life. It’s like my alter ego. But seriously, you seem like a really good person. I would love to talk to you and share stories and things with you. Please don’t hesitate to contact me girl, I would really love to become friends with youu 🙂
my email is kaciliz@aim.com
Because you’re intelligent, why would it not be worth it to go for broke…invest your energies in focusing on what you want to create in your life. How old are you….this pessimistic attitude from young people….what is this? I didn’t have a stellar, school experience but what are your expectations? They seem out of wack…don’t worry about what others look like, create your own standards and goals that fit YOU! Life just doesn’t come to you, you have to put out there what you want….tell the universe…I want this….like from your heart, with passion…plug into the real parts of you that want expression. That’s your birthright. You’re talking nonsense. I could go on, think you get the idea….change your attitude and perspective. It can be done. Cheers!