If I reached you I hope I’ve helped. If I prematurely ended your life… I’m sorry… good luck on ether a painless life or a painless death. I see a bottle of sleeping pills. I can take 10 of them with out overdosing. I can take 100 and puke while I try to sleep like other people here …*laughs* I’m going to die anyway right? So today I’m taking one…. for me that’s the beauty in it. I can wait…. the sand is running out I can wait to die. I’ll find more friends I’ll accidentally kill more people I’ll find a woman who will leave me…. and break my leg jumping out of an airplane. I will get fired. I will be shot. I’m going to take lots of drugs…. have unprotected sex until I have another kid. Everyone will hate me… no one will understand me…. and in the end even when I’m on the edge of life… praying for a chance at death…. I will be alive…. not in the littoral sense but I will be alive inside… even filled with pain…. I’m going to look at my most beautiful joy-est of memories and fucking cry and I hate myself and laugh my ass off at how pathetic my life has become and in my madness I may take my own life on accident. I don’t believe in sin…. I am going to leave this like fighting and screaming loving and hating everyone at the same time… because I’m dieing of this terminal disease called life. It will eventually kill me So I’m going to have as much fun as possible before I leave… and I’ll try not to hurt anyone ….. I truly believe in the theory of Sacrificial Soul-mate. where you love someone with everything you have and they rip out your soul and make sure your dead before they move on….. then they expect you to do it to others….. but it stops here…. I will tell you how to go kill yourself but you have to ask…. I’m just telling you I’m sticking around… and I’ll see you later when I no longer feel like its worth it…. I’m telling you though I’m having a blast even when I’m in pain… I leave you with these song.
Disciple- things left unsaid