i cant do this anymore. everything that can go wrong in my life, is going wrong. i moved out of my parents house to live with my girlfriend of 3 years. my parents did not approve and have cut me off completely. they barely even talk to me anymore, and the only times they do, its to tell me what i regret i am. my girlfriend is the only person i had. shes the only one i lived for, and a few nights ago, i got really angry about her hanging out with a guy alot, and so i started drinking. i got really drunk, and i said alot of horrible things to her that i wish i never said. at this point she told me that she was leaving me for the guy that this whole fight was over even after she constantly reassured me that i didnt have anything to worry about with him. i tried to talk to her for 4 days straight, and the only answers i got were things like “i love you and care about alot, but i like him and i want to give him a chance”. ive been suffering from horrible depression for the last few months, and this put me past my breaking point. i slit my arm down to the bone, and had to go into the hospital to get it stitched up because it was so deep. when everyone asked me what happened i told them all that i flipped my quad and landed on something, because im too embarrassed to tell anybody the truth. im still here trying to get my girlfriend to give me another chance, and i fear that the next time i slice my wrists, i may not be so lucky as to come out of it. i cant leave my girlfriend because shes all i have, and without her im nothing.
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You are something without her. Life can be good even without her in your life.
Hello
jesuscrhist what you have done to yourself was really really really extreme. Lets see if you can put things in order.
1. First of all. You may not have realized but your experiencing, your emotions are extremely imbalanced. Cut yourself to the point of the bone is truly dramatic and this speaks for itself. It seems that you are ignoring it and returning on that girl compulsively.
2. You seriously need to address that imbalance or it will finish you. That is your most urgent priority. No! dont tell me that if the girl returns you will be fine again. No, you will continue being completely imbalance but compensated by the girl and depending on what happens with the girl.
3. You have nothing to regret about what you told her because it was all true. You did not realize that that is the way many women act ? They will not tell you straight to the face because of fear, so they will ride on two horses and expect that you lose your temper so that she can blame you for that, but as you see she was actually going for that guy LONG BEFORE you started insulting her.
4. I very much know how dramatic your relationship with that girl was because you made of what you obtained from her (company, dialog, warmth, sex and the female charms) a source of pleasure to your soul and you have reacted in the same way a drug addict would react if withdrawn from drugs suddenly.
5. Therefore, do take this as a milestone in your life, a point from which you truly need to make huge changes in yourself. Otherwise, you are going to end up self destroyed.
6. Now, let me lend you some intelligence and experience. What is happening with your parents is very typical. They seem to be good parents, conservative, who dont approve their son living with a woman not married etc. You have breached their rules and they are strict to them. However, a good father, a good mother does have understanding for the problems, and mistakes of their son. Do copy and paste the letter that you have written above. Get in touch with a shrink and start therapy. Get that letter, put it in a envelope and send it to your mother saying that you have made a terrible mistake, that you are seeing a doctor for counseling and that you ask them to please help you and forgive you. If they dont. that would really be an act of cruelty.
regards
O
I agree with you Chooseanick, very wisely spoken I must say, I could never have said anything you said better, thank you for your information it does reflect on my current issue with my own loved one.
Bros….over a girl….the first person you learn to love on a real level is YOU…otherwise you’re just living out a co dependent relationship and it could be any girl. She was just going to leave you….can’t be that meaningful if whatever guy that was hanging around is her next choice. You don’t take the hurt out on yourself..find a pillow, a wall, but not your own self…Dig deep and fight for yourself….we’re rooting for you..come on! Wake up brother…this is your official wake up call. Cheers.
One idea I know that usually works…. If you keep “feeding her” now not too much that she has enough, but in a way of feeding her as in that she always needs you, then it does not matter who she hangs out with and she will always be loyal to you, you know her better then I do… Keep up with what she likes and when she has enough of something give it a break, it is an old style of keeping someone no matter what consequences.
I don’t pretend to know you on a personal level or anything about you as an individual,
but it seems you need some serious introspection
And then I think you need to experience life in it’s entirety or at least try to broaden your horizons
You began your your entry by saying everything in life that could go wrong has
But there is MUCH more to life then your family and significant other
I realize personal relationships can do some serious emotional damage; but if you have the courage to be able to cut yourself to the bone, then isn’t it fair to assume you would have the ability to face the challenge of a new life?
There is more
You don’t have to answer if you are not comfortable, but what was cutting yourself so deeply like? Did it hurt a lot? What did you use?…
I saw this and my immediate thought was “did my husband start posting on here?!” My situation is almost EXACTLY the same as yours, except I’m the girl that left.
I’m gonna say this firstly, she’ll come back. It may take a little while, but she will, I guarantee it.
I’m 19 now, when I was 17 I met my husband, started dating him the day after we met, in a week his mom basically said it’s her or your home, so he moved in with me. Yada yada yada, shit happens, time goes by and we get married. Then I met a guy at work, we got really close, fell in love, but I wasn’t willing to leave or cheat on my husband. Well the day came where I told my husband I wasn’t leaving him, but I had feelings for the work guy, and we needed to work more on our relationship. He didn’t say anything at first, then a few hours later he freaked out, told me he was back with his ex, and hoped me and work guy would be as happy as they were (which was a lie)…so naturally I got with work guy…my husband tried to slit his wrist, failed, i didnt really act like i cared. time passed, he started being a douche, didn’t make good on all his promises, then dumped me. Started talking to husband again, got back with work guy, didn’t last, now I’m talking to my husband again.
Trust me, wait. She’ll come back. New guys newness will wear off and she’ll miss you. Just give her time. It may be impossible to forgive her, and she may not be sorry, but when shit goes sour you go back to the person who makes you feel loved, needed, and important.
In the meantime while waiting, don’t fuck around with other people, doesn’t matter that she is, she wont see it the same way. Don’t try to kill yourself again, girls like to see strength, they want to be with someone who can protect them, handle any situation, yet someone still emotional enough to connect with. So lie if you have to, let her think you’re ok, devastated, but ok. Don’t flirt around with other girls, she’ll just feel more justified in leaving.
I’m serious. I never know how to give advice, but trust a complete stranger on this, because I know. It’s not even advice, it’s hearing the girls thoughts and reactions in this situation. I’m not by any means anti-suicide, just if its over not having the girl, don’t yet, because she will come back.
You can email me if you’d like to talk aureyslasthope@Hotmail.com
I hope that was any sort of help at all :/