I need help. I’m fifteen (turning sixteen in a week) and i have nothing to look forward to. i feel so lost and alone.
my sixteenth birthday is in a few days. I have no party planned, no friends to invite, and my brother won’t bother to reschedule an SAT test to come home from boarding school with me.
I feel like such a failure all the time compared to him. I didn’t have a birthday party last year either (yet again, no one to invite) and his friend threw him this outrageous surprise party. i’m spending my birthday with my parents who i can’t standÂ and i hate myself. I hate myself for being alone. i hate myself for not being pretty or smart or special enough for anyone to love me. i hate myself because i’m too weak to fight the depression i’ve had for years, therapy hasn’t helped.
I’m angry at the world and my family because they pretend i’m fine. my brother is more important than i am. i’m so sick and i can’t stand how disgusting my mind has become. i nwant to hurt people. mostly myself.
i really want to die.
please, please. somebody help me.