I hide behind a smile quite often. I really do think I might have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. I’m very impulsive and I get seriously angry to the point where i start crying angrily and kicking things because of stupid little things like I don’t have control over the radio..I over think things just like i act on impulse. I feel like I have no friends but I do. I’m ugly fat and there is no reason to go on. I play a sport that I’m really good at but sometimes I just want to be with God and go to sleep forever. Â I wonder if this is really it. Is this all life has to offer? I’ve cut myself a couple times. but im trying..im trying to find the positive..
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I hear ya, i smile on the outside (not literally though, although i do smilie mostly with my friends though, but otherwise more often figuratively).
I doubt you are fat or ugly. Most people who think that about themselves are idiots. You may be one of them.
Here is a positive:
You are good at a sport. Some would kill for that.
Another: You have a good (?) family.
You’re not starving in Africa.
You don’t have AIDS (?)
You have a radio.
You may want to see someone about those fits though…maybe someone to calm you down when those happen.
Have you spoken to anyone about those things? Maybe therapy or meds could help
ilovejenny888, I know who you feel, I feel the exact same. I’m thinking I am borderline as well since I don’t seem to feel the highs.
zdeathchanz, go fuck yourself. Seriously.
1. Honestly? People would kill just to be good at some sport? Are you mentally retarded or just stupid, because I honestly can’t tell.
2-4. Oh wow. This thing again. Because you should be 100% if you’re not african, starving, have aids and don’t have radios. How shallow. You know nothing about life. What I’d do to just get rid of you people. Then maybe – just maybe – I will re-consider getting away from this hideous world.
I could be diagnosed with a lot of things but they’re just medical diagnosis given so we can have a context with which to understand something….I is what I is…God knows I’m not what I was…good for you for looking for the positive. I find you have to fake it….I have to fake myself out to get through some days. But you do what ya gotta do. 888, is an ascension # I believe. I love Jenny too. What’s ugly?, What’s fat….nah, dn’t buy it…..Cheers!