Is there a place for me?

I am 19, i left school to help my mom raise my siblings while she was in a abusive relationship. I was verbally abused by that man but i have always been the strong one, the one who dried the tears of others and never dares to cry. I fell into depression and sometimes didnt leave the house for months i would laugh and do normal things but had a fear of the outside world and the pain it could bring. we moved and now  theres no more abuse. i am in a relationship now and hes great and my mom gets along with him most of the time but she thinks im too into him tho thats not the case its not easy for me to know she thinks that. my mom and my boyfriend both have things planned you know a life a good idea of a life for me i know they both care but inside i can feel that none will happen i still have not recovered from the trauma of the past and i honestly dont see a future for myself and i can feel the end of the two relationships ending i can feel that soon i will say goodbye to both my mom and my boyfriend and tho i love my siblings more than anything i feel the its necessary to leave and go somewhere and never come back. what should i do?