so I don’t know if I’ll ever be back on here; to read posts and comments, not because I’ve committed suicide but simply because I’ve probably forgotten my password or the whole thing all together.
I won’t tell you my name but I’m a 15 year old girl from Australia. I came across this site when I googled suicide stories.
I want to tell you my thoughts and problems because I have no one else to talk to, no one who’ll understand.
Every year something happens that fucks up my life, my trust with my parents and relationships with friends. It’s annoying cos everytime this happens I work hard to fix everything then it happens again and I’m back to the start, except I gets harder an harder everytime.. I always read in books, watch in movies and hear that your mothers like one of your bestfriends. It hurts because I can’t exactly say that myself:( I love her to death but I can’t talk to her about anything and if we have a conversation it’s more like a fight about my grades and all my mistakes and why i can’t be like someone else, someone wiser and smarter and more mature. I just wish we could get along. But I hear that she talks about me to her friends, she cries to them explaining that I’m sometimes troubled and put her through alot of shit, when really I feel that she takes things out of proportion.. it hurts to hear this because of what she says about me, her own daughter. She tells me that she thinks I’m a good person and that I can get far in life, but I know that’s a lie, cos that’s not what she tells her friends. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because of this, both my parents have argument about my decisions and I feel that if I left them they would be more peaceful. But I’m scared. Scared to leave them, scared to kill myself. I’m always a bit happier when I’m not at home, it’s just the energy around me at home, it stresses me out and nothing nice ever comes out of it. It puts me in a depressing and suicidal mood. I cry and cry, try to hurt myself but fail. I don’t know what to do with my life, don’t know who to talk to. So if anyone out there reads this, thanks. I just want someone to know what I’m going through. Even of it’s not that bad I just can’t cope with it.