so I don’t know if I’ll ever be back on here; to read posts and comments, not because I’ve committed suicide but simply because I’ve probably forgotten my password or the whole thing all together.
I won’t tell you my name but I’m a 15 year old girl from Australia. I came across this site when I googled suicide stories.
I want to tell you my thoughts and problems because I have no one else to talk to, no one who’ll understand.
Every year something happens that fucks up my life, my trust with my parents and relationships with friends. It’s annoying cos everytime this happens I work hard to fix everything then it happens again and I’m back to the start, except I gets harder an harder everytime.. I always read in books, watch in movies and hear that your mothers like one of your bestfriends. It hurts because I can’t exactly say that myself:( I love her to death but I can’t talk to her about anything and if we have a conversation it’s more like a fight about my grades and all my mistakes and why i can’t be like someone else, someone wiser and smarter and more mature. I just wish we could get along. But I hear that she talks about me to her friends, she cries to them explaining that I’m sometimes troubled and put her through alot of shit, when really I feel that she takes things out of proportion.. it hurts to hear this because of what she says about me, her own daughter. She tells me that she thinks I’m a good person and that I can get far in life, but I know that’s a lie, cos that’s not what she tells her friends. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because of this, both my parents have argument about my decisions and I feel that if I left them they would be more peaceful. But I’m scared. Scared to leave them, scared to kill myself. I’m always a bit happier when I’m not at home, it’s just the energy around me at home, it stresses me out and nothing nice ever comes out of it. It puts me in a depressing and suicidal mood. I cry and cry, try to hurt myself but fail. I don’t know what to do with my life, don’t know who to talk to. So if anyone out there reads this, thanks. I just want someone to know what I’m going through. Even of it’s not that bad I just can’t cope with it.
6 comments
Hurting95: In movies and books mothers are often idolised – I don’t think close relationships with them happens for most of us until we are a lot older 35+yo.
I know it is hard to hear but you need to “hang on in there” it will get better.
I think the middle to late teenage years are the hardest – you are trying to find your Self and parents need to readjust their perspectives of who you are! It does sound though as if you need to speak to somebody! Can you talk to the school counsellor or perhaps ring kids helpline??
I will pray for you hurting95 and thinking of you! Stay strong! Know someone is thinking of you
Yay an aussie! Im from Australia too where abouts you from? I love my mum shes cool and i get along with her pretty well we’re kinda close and i can sorta talk to her but then i kinda cant cause she’s my mum and it feels kinda weird plus she doesnt understand my issues at all which is hard. Maybe as you get older things will change and your relationship with her will be different
yeah im from melbourne , what about you? and I know what you mean bout talking to her bout somethings and not others, but I can’t even have a decent conversation with he sometimes :/ how old are you?
Im in Adelaide and im 23
I can relate, my mom talks shit about me to her friends on the phone (loud and and in English whether they know hindi or not). Only times I wish she speaks hindi more often (I only know English and a little Spanish).
I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones. My mom’s purely a martyr. She doesn’t have any friends, and I’m apparently her only friend. She’s my best friend… perhaps my only close friend. I have trouble keeping any secrets from her.
However, she is very temperamental, due to my father and our impossible amount of problems, and yells and screams at me constantly. If I could go one week without any arguments, I would be suspicious that I died and ended up in heaven.