My father commited suicide in 1999 and not a day goes by where I dont think about him.Â He abused my mother and my brother and sisters and I so my mum left and took us with her.Â He killed himself 5 days before my sisters birthday, knowing that he might have been buried on her birthday. My mum made sure that didnt happen.Â Â Â Â Even though he is gone I still have days when I am angry at him then days when I miss him so much. I am still asking why. I guess I will never know.
I am 24 and have suffered from anxiety andÂ depression from I was 16. It isnt getting any easier. I am fed up of people telling me to get a job and that will get me out of the house and make me feel better but I dont feel ready to work yet. I have attempted suicide a few times and I am a self harmer. The only reason I am alive is because of my sisters and brother. There are 6 of us.Â I dont want anyone to have to explain to them that they will never see me again like my mum had to do with us.