I need some advice. I am a 17 year old girl attending high school. My life should be amazing, I have been ranked top in my class for the last 5 years, have won numerous awards, play for several sports teams, tutor, part of student government etc etc. But it’s not.
Everyone thinks my life is perfect, but I am dying inside and I don’t know where to turn to. You see, when I was 12, I was looking for my camera in my mom’s room when I came across a box. Of course, being curious, I opened it and found much more than I could expect. Newspaper clippings about my dad being arrested, diary entries about my dad being depressed and a alcoholic, leaving our family in the middle of the night, emails from 16 year old girls saying they had had sex with him. How could this happen? Our family was perfect : Mom, Dad, me and 2 siblings. Â They don’t know I know..
Then it went downhill, my uncle was killed, my grandmother and grandfather were diagnosed with cancer. We’ve filed for bankruptcy, Dad’s in the hospital for health problems, Mom lost her job, my best friends have been telling to me to die and burning pictures of me. But hey, as long as I smile at school, I am perfect. Nothing is wrong with me.
Then I met a boy, 2 years older. He protected me and was loving and everything I wanted. But like most teen boys, he wanted sex and eventually used me and left me. I am broken.
I really need someone to talk to. Someone to tell me it’ll be okay because I don’t know how long I will be able to hold on.
8 comments
:/ Reading that just made me sad. I’m here for you. That sounds like a lot of pressure. You have to take it one day at a time. Don’t feel like everything is on your shoulders, do what you can. It sounds like things are bad enough, and you leaving won’t help. Your family needs you now more than ever.
=( reading this makes me so sad..you sound just like me when I was in high school. I want to tell you, this will all make you stronger, and that more insightful and grateful in the future for what is planned for you. I know it seems like a huge hurdle to get through this all, and remain strong and put together, especially when the family you choose to have (your “friends”) are hurting you. You need to know you are not alone. You need to cut the people who are bringing you down, in this time of need. Focus on yourself and all that you excel in. My advice may not be much, but I really hope and pray for the best for you and want you to know that someone does care and is rooting for you to pull through <3
** cut out the people
thank you ♥ i received a bursary to help out in a developing country during spring break, so i hope to get a little more insight to life. maybe i’ll realize why i should be thankful. i’m a little worried though, cause my nannie was given 3 month to live and if that’s true, while I am away.. you know.
cutecopper19@hotmail.com
AIM: artzygrl1919
Yahoo IM: artzygrl1919
if you ever need someone to talk to
I read your posting in detail and the message was very meaningful. Definitively you are extraordinary, absolutely well balanced and naturally you have reacted with despairing thoughts and feelings towards an avalanche of events.
Years will pass my girl and remember this prediction that I am making now for you. You are going to be extraordinary, in all senses. It is one of those few bright intelligences combined with a very good nature inside as a person. That will make you choose a lovely man forever and also you are going to have a good profession. Whether you can study or not, it is clear that you are going to make career, not because you are the ambitious type, but because you are very well natured and people for whom you work will want you promoted.
What happened to you with this boyfriend was due to your emotional state that made you too vulnerable. I would have more than a word with a guy so cruel who can abuse and exploit the feelings of a girl. I am not the kind of guy who lets other guys be cruel to girls, I make sure they repent.
In any case, I am not surprised that you have had the smart inititiave to do exactly what I would have suggested you to do, go elsewhere on an ONG mission and get out of yourself, to be able to get the input from the rest of the world situations which will help you assess your own.
The way you have reacted and the solutions you have provided to help yourself make me admire you very much.
Please stay in touch and under no circumstance be down. Write here, write me, call me or whatever, but do not despair at all. You are too valuable.
Hugs
O
thank you everyone for your kind words. they are very much appreciated. there are many details i left out for the sake of broken hearts. i don’t want to sound needy, even though i know i am. I’ve never tried to harm myself, but there have been thoughts of a world without me.. understandable since my friends suggest it constantly.
but thank you, thank you, thank you! even though you’ve only heard part, thank you for being the support i truly value.
We are here for any part left that you may want to relate any time. In one of my books, (written in Spanish) called, The Human Comedy: XXI Century I go through a detailed description of all the social and psychological profiles of the individuals who walk the street. Some of them are laughable, some are despicable, and some are admirable. Naturally I am always fascinated with the admirable women.
As per the box you opened, have you heard about Pandora’s box ? google about it. Natural female curiosity. Women can never help opening Pandora’s box 🙂
Hugs and send us a postcard from Ecuador