I’ve been considering suicide for quite some time. For several months I even had a handgun. I actually had a license to carry it. I’ve been under psychiatric care for some time but have never been institutionalized, so I was eligible. However, I told my psychiatrist about the gun. I’m not sure if that was wise. Although he urged me to get rid of it, he didn’t press the issue since he said he didn’t believe in his heart I was suicidal and I’d never actually loaded the gun. He was right. I just had the gun as a coping strategy at that point; I don’t think I would’ve actually used the gun. Finally, though, he said if I didn’t give up the gun, he might be forced to terminate treatment. Since I wouldn’t comply, he’d done just about all he could for me. This finally motivated me to give up the gun because I have to get my meds somewhere and he’s the only psychiatrist I feel safe with (I’ve seen several). The next day, I pawned the gun and brought him the receipt. I even cut my firearms license to pieces and threw it in the trash.
It would seem that the situation has been resolved, but I’m still having thoughts along those lines. A gunshot seems to be the only surefire method that is almost certain to be successful, yet quick & painless. All I actually agreed to do was get rid of that gun – I didn’t say I wouldn’t get another one. Do you think it would be dishonest of me to get another gun?
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Conditions, conditions, conditions….how old r u bros. Are the meds working….good of you to be honest. It’s such a difficult thing for anyone to deal with. There are no guarantees. Would be up to hearing more about your story if you wish to share. In my mind if a doctor takes you on, there shouldn’t be any rules-you’re in a real do or die situation and putting more restrictions on you doesn’t help you find your own way…..in any case. Everything is a choice…the person you’re only being dishonest with is yourself. The last person you answer to is yourself. Cheers and good luck to you.
I’m 40. I’m taking welbutrin & lamictal. I guess the they’re helping, though I think there’s only so much they can do. The issues don’t go away.
Anyway, one night a few weeks ago, after a particularly stressfull day, I couldn’t fall asleep, despite taking several xanax. I got the gun and some bullets, along with a bottle of vodka, and lay them beside me. When morning came, I called my psychatrist’s office & left a voicemail informing him of my situation. Usually one of his interns returns patients’ calls, and if they can’t help, they pass it on to the nurse. If even she can’t resolve the situation, she passes it along to the doctor. In this case, however, he was the first one to call me, & told me to come in asap. During our session he evidently determined that threatening to terminate treatment was the only course of action. I guess the only time he could have me involuntarily committed is if I said flat-out I was going to kill myself in the very near future.
I haven’t seriously considered getting another gun since then, but I’ve been considering helium inhalation. I’ve heard though that this isn’t always successful, so I haven’t ruled out the gun option altogether.
Hi,
I believe we can help each other a lot!
My e-mail is lirulee@gmail.com
Please, make contact 🙂
Hay, im considering helium asphyxiation as well… if you’re still around please post so we can talk…
Where u guys from??
The states, yourself?