I’ve been considering suicide for quite some time. For several months I even had a handgun. I actually had a license to carry it. I’ve been under psychiatric care for some time but have never been institutionalized, so I was eligible. However, I told my psychiatrist about the gun. I’m not sure if that was wise. Although he urged me to get rid of it, he didn’t press the issue since he said he didn’t believe in his heart I was suicidal and I’d never actually loaded the gun. He was right. I just had the gun as a coping strategy at that point; I don’t think I would’ve actually used the gun. Finally, though, he said if I didn’tÂ give up the gun, he might be forced to terminate treatment. Since I wouldn’t comply, he’d done just about all he could for me. This finally motivated me to give up the gun because I have to get my meds somewhere and he’s the only psychiatrist I feel safe with (I’ve seen several). The next day, I pawned the gun and brought him the receipt. I even cut my firearms license to pieces and threw it in the trash.
It would seem that the situation has been resolved, but I’m still having thoughts along those lines. A gunshot seems to be the only surefire method that is almost certain to be successful, yet quick & painless. All I actually agreed to do was get rid of that gun – I didn’t say I wouldn’t get another one. Do you think it would be dishonest of me to get another gun?