The Love I lost and the Life that went with Him </3

Hello,

I am going to provide you with the explanation to your letter. It is possible that you understand something you maybe did not know before, but even so, it is unlikely that the pain goes away immediately, because there are quite a lot of things to repair in here.

1. I didnt even need to get to the end of the letter before I spotted your case. You, like millions of us, are longing for love, for that beautiful, loving soft balm on our souls, etc. We have have red figures on our emotional accounting books and eagerly look around and would build an imaginary world if someone looks at us twice.

2. However, neither are we truly in love, nor there was any real world outside other than we wishfully built to satisfy our tremendous gap in our souls.

3. I did not even need to read that you wrote “before I met him I was depressed, and after that, all was well”. As you see, you were departing from red figures and dragged him into your world before you actually even knew him.
He, on his side, either was emotionally immature and or cruel and probably both things too, but not out of sheer malice, but maybe young and stupid and insensitive so as to answer in such a ruthless way without realising that your feelings were at stake.

4. There is a tremendous unfairness in life because precisely those who are more in need of emotional caresses are the ones who are more anxious to get them, scare away others and end up worse off than in the beginning, so they will be even more anxious next time until they end up completly inbalance and do things like cut themselves, or dramatic deeds. However, those who are cute and attractive, have loads of “lovers” and are not anxious and get more than they can handle (although they do get other sort of problems).

5. So, what to do ? First of all, I hope to have contributed to you knowing yourself and understanding your emotional and psychological flaws. Once you understand that, your suffering will be much less. You will be prepared to organise your next meeting with your feet on the ground, and beware of that kind of “we fell for each other straightaway” which should never happen. Anytime that happens, that is calling for emotional troubles later on. That is not the way human relationships must be funded. It must be a slow process of knowing the other person, seeing how he she reacts to pressure, how deep he can give from himself to care for you, what his attitude towards life is, how he handles problems, bad news and stress, all those kind of things that you must truly test before being sure what you are getting into.

However, most people dont realize this, they jump in unknown waters driven by their emotional necessity of being fulfilled. Even the couples you see on the streets hand in hand are flawed, most of the times it is nothing but a mutual exchange of interests, an “egotisme a deux”, but they dont even know it themselves.

True love is a matter of deep understanding and selfless relationship.

regards

O