i wish everyone around me realized i wasn’t happy. they all think i’m acting out or being dramatic, but they’ll realize how wrong they were once i’m gone. i’m seriously depressed. i have no real friends, my boyfriend isn’t there like he should be, my mom ignores me, and i never see my dad or sister. so i’m always alone. no one realizes the seriousness of this. I’M DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL! and they cant see it. no one wants to care. i don’t know what to do. i’m worthless. i have nothing to be proud of, everyone thinks i’m a joke, theres no positive perks to me at all. if i was dead, there’d be nothing worth remembering me by except how i was always the cranky *****. i’m 16 and have nothing to live for. if i was gone my boyfriend could move on, my mom wouldn’t have anymore problems with the house, or money, or annoyances, my “friends” wouldn’t care, and everyone would soon forget about me. no one sees me anymore. i already don’t exist. i sit in my room all day because i have nothing better to do. teachers don’t like me, and i’m failing at school. no one sees the real me. i even screamed to my mom one day that id be better off on anti depressants but the only thing she said id get was slapped. i have no purpose. i wonder everyday why i haven’t died yet. i’m sick of the pain, i’m sick of the tears and loneliness. i see everyone i’m surrounded by with their big happy families, lots of friends, money, and lives. everyone forgets about me all the time. i’m a joke. and i’m better off dead. i shouldn’t have to take it this far for someone to realize what’s wrong, but i guess i have too.
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I can tell you one thing and that is that alot of people would be hurt if you died.. you may not realize it now, but it’s true. And that’s what been keeping me from ending my life. When I was reading your thoughts it was like reading something I wrote myself, I’ve been you. And I can tell you that you’ll be better. 🙂
You’ll find a boy who loves you and adores you, you’ll have friends that makes you so happy and makes you laugh and feel worthy, your mother will come around as you get older (maybe she’s in menopause?).
You’re not a joke, you are 100% perfect!
I’m sure you’re sick of hearing that, but I’ve been where you are now.
What I can tell you is you need to exhaust every option first, please? Find someone you can trust and tell them what’s going on, that you need help.
Someone, a grownup? who can help you find a counselor and maybe some anti-depressants. Death is permanent and if meds or talking things out with a shrink would in the long run help it’d be a mistake not to find that option. My shrink is awesome and I know I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for him… don’t know if I’ll be here in a year or two, but at this point I’m taking it one day at a time. If you can’t think of anyone check out the hotline numbers… I wish you all the best, and don’t give up! At least not yet, okay?
oops sorry, first part got deleted…. should have said…… “I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I’m not going to tell you, you’re too young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”
Agree with you on that one Journey. Worst thing to hear is that you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. If you struggle, you struggle as much as a 16 year-old vs a 60 year-old.
There are so much other nice, cheering things to say, than just that. 🙂
Don’t be discouraged from seeking help. There are a lot of people who think depresssion is laziness or a lack of discipline, counselors are useless people, and that antidepressants are for the weak. My own family has antiquated ideas like those, and they aren’t very helpful. If you need help, it’s okay to reach out for it. I don’t know if you have a school counselor, a trusted teacher, or someone else available to support you, but please consider that option before ending your life. It was be sad if you made a permanent decision about death when help was available for the asking.