General Well by mimi 2/24/2011 written by mimi 2/24/2011 I’ve been thinking about this again, but this time, the feeling is amplified 30x. How does one cope with this because I’m ready to go. Please, nothing religious. It got me in this mess. 13 comments 0 Email Related posts It hurts but I can’t cry for some... 10/16/2021 Protected: Ptsd 10/16/2021 ¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!.¡!¡!¡!¡!¡! 10/15/2021 I don’t understand myself either 10/15/2021 Don’t want to rot away in an elder... 10/15/2021 Sleeping pills 10/15/2021 bit by bit 10/14/2021 I HATE WINDOWS UPDATES 10/14/2021 Like a dying star 10/14/2021 attempts: what was going through your mind? 10/14/2021 13 comments Deep abyss 2/24/2011 - 1:36 am What is amplified 30x more? what got you in this mess? and what mess are you in? Log in to Reply lynette0 2/24/2011 - 3:06 am Do you really know where you are “going”? I don’t mean to sound rude, because I am struggling with suicidal thoughts very often too. I know what it means to feel amplified tendencies.. but I’m too afraid of the unknown. What if I end up in a worse place? Log in to Reply heretostay 2/24/2011 - 7:57 am idk you idk what to say im jus 13 but isolate yourself for a day or two and ONLY blast music that YOU love and do whatever you like, like if u wanna read, paint, sing, sit there, jus stare down a clock, think….. but its not up to me……. and think about it……is what you REALLY want to die? prolly not, you jus want everything to stop and i know im like “why cant my life be like u2 song?!?!” and people’s lives who r ‘perfect’, they’re jus fakes, THEY”RE THE PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER MAKE IT ANYWHERE jus if u decide to die, dont do it in ur house where ur family will find you, thats jus sad for them…… also…listen to Here To Stay by Korn, i mean the lyrics….. good luck…thanks for listening : ) Log in to Reply mimi 2/24/2011 - 11:02 am To Deep abyss: To sum up the most part, see what lynette0 has written. It’s almost as if she knows exactly what I mean. My thoughts of suicide have been soaring upwards (Well, if it were to be placed on a graph). I’ll have bouts of wanting to make an active decision to die, and then all of a sudden, my brain switches to thinking about, “Well, if I kill myself, I may end up in a worse or equally painful place.” That is the religious aspect of it that I’ve been struggling with for years, and it (fear of the unknown) has been driving me mad. Log in to Reply softsoul 2/24/2011 - 12:18 pm If you find yourself out of your body as you have chosen to leave, there is help on the other side……basically communication is telepathic so to speak. Go to the light, and think and feel as much love for everything in your life……align your thoughts and feelings with love. The rest is allowing/trusting the process of transitioning back to Source/God. Death is not a mystery to God. What if….is about the future, which is hand in hand with fear. Stay in the now, and make a decision. Fear is something we often create. Good luck. Cheers! Log in to Reply lynette0 2/24/2011 - 1:42 pm Softsoul: Where do you get this knowledge from? I don’t mean to be rude, but how can I trust you? Log in to Reply softsoul 2/24/2011 - 4:44 pm I don’t want anyone to trust me…trust yourself. If your intuition tells you what I wrote makes sense, or you feel truth in it, well…that’s your radar sussing out what’s what. By all means, do your own research….when you want to find answers, the universe gladly provides. I follow my gut in posting what my journey has taught me and with pure intent to help. I inform and support where I am guided to do so. How do you trust your tour guide when you’re in the woods or white-water rafting?…lol You make a choice. There’s a line from The Matrix – Reloaded…Jada Pinkett Smith’s character asks the key maker a question while he’s explaining the security system they have to penetrate in order to get Neo to the door of light…and she asks..”how do you know this” and he replies. “I know because I am meant to know”……Good luck! Cheers! Log in to Reply mimi 2/25/2011 - 1:30 am To heretostay: I already isolate myself, and blast the music I want to listen to as well as all that other stuff, but I’m afraid that it isn’t a sufficient coping mechanism anymore. To softsoul: I’ve got no idea what to make of all of that, or much of anything right now. Log in to Reply crying on the inside 2/25/2011 - 1:46 am I feel the same mimi but it gets to a point where its too much to handle anymore and your willing to risk it and find out. Where you from how old are you? Log in to Reply Deep abyss 2/25/2011 - 2:03 am Oh, so that’s what you mean mimi. I can relate to what you mean then. I too, want to die. Sometimes a lot more than usual. There are times when my suicidal thoughts just overwhelms me, where it reaches peaks of depression. Log in to Reply niki 2/25/2011 - 7:29 am To quote even a well-noted psychologist and medical doctor Raymond Moody: “I don’t mind saying that after talking with over a thousand people who have had these experiences, and having experienced many times some of the really baffling and unusual features of these experiences, it has given me great confidence that there is a life after death. As a matter of fact, I must confess to you in all honesty, I have absolutely no doubt, on the basis of what my patients have told me, that they did get a glimpse of the beyond.” source: wikipedia. Log in to Reply mimi 2/25/2011 - 4:24 pm crying on the inside: I’m 18, From the southern part of the United States. Sometimes, I don’t really want to know what is on the other side nor care; I just want to get out. But then there are times where I don’t feel risky: I’m easily persuaded into thinking that life will get better, then after 5 or so years, it never does despite any changes I try to enforce. It’s been rather downhill. Deep abyss: But how do you find yourself ‘sticking around?’ Or rather, what’s been keeping you from carrying out the deed that is suicide? niki: That’s an interesting quote, but I don’t know what he’s referring to as the “experiences” he mentions frequently. Maybe I’m just daft. Log in to Reply lynette0 2/25/2011 - 11:55 pm Hey mimi, Allow me to share what’s keeping me alive (I’m not saying that being alive is necessarily the best option we have now): 1. The fear of the uncertainties of suicide (people have said that “Suicide is a one-way ticket to eternal hell – and that is conceivable) 2. There are still some things/people that are reason for me to live (even if I don’t live for myself) and from these things/people, I try to draw as much happiness in them as I can since I’m not going to die yet. Its like, while you’re still alive and before you make a decision to die, just try to make the best out of things. 3. I’ve also been making myself very busy and occupied with things and this helps me get by, because it seems to give me some small reason to live (e.g. I need to tutor a boy in school, I need to dance for my school’s performance, I need to finish this economics essay…) I know there is no grand meaning in all these. But it makes existence a bit easier. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.