Just a bit of me drunk feelings.
For as long as I can recall . For as long as I have been sad , I have been sad.
For as long as my life extends , I have been at peace with myself and at war with the world.
Last time I tried the “easy” way out was May 2009 , and again the very same month.
Or was it 2010. I cannot recall , have been binge drinking since then , only way for me to sleep , or to stay awake.
Those of us who recognize such feeling , such disruption in the brain that most likely will never go away , it takes away part of your character , drivers you crazy from the inside , the glowing of your eyes on a dull and empty stare and you can almost smell death itself.
Its always hard and sad , being sad , its even hard feeling empty. Maybe I am.
How long will we deny , or maybe in a more selfish way , how long will I ?
And for how long will I ?…
There is no joy in smiling , no flavor in life.
I feel for nothing and I yet identify with everything , and maybe only in selfish manners.
The words come easily out , the meaning is always cryptic.
Im getting excited as I am about to leave, Â and only smile when knowing the end is near , the end is here.
I finally know the meds I need to take , or do I ?
Maybe itÂ´ll be a mess like last time.
This shit is growing boring as I move along people I do not want to know ,as I pass through life , just one more of those who go quietly , Â who live unaware and unnoticed Â .
Must get another beer.