yesterday i figured out another way inflict pain on myself. i forgot how strong i am when i’m really pissed. so i smacked my arm a couple times and my forearm was red. my younger brother completely pissed me off yesterday. i dont understand why he has to be such a brat. and my sister thinks everything is a frickin game. why is it that every little thing pisses me off. i really need therapy. Burning doesnt help much, but hitting my hands and arms against stuff helps a bit i feel much better. i actually almost broke my wrist by hitting it as hard as i could against the cinder block walls of my high school. my yelled at me for that one, and i only ended up doing it again. so that was a waist of time. i guess there is no stopping what i’ve already started. but in some light on the situation i won’t be doing anything stupid because my best friend is coming over to my house today. yay!!! i feel weird maybe cuz i havent taken my meds. im such a nut right now.. my friends think im bonkers. i think i need to take my meds. depending on the rest of my day and my mood, i may get back on later and rant about something else.