yeah, another post from me. I’m trying to quit cutting so you better get ued to me posting alot.
why are you doing this to me? how can you keep doing this? I’ve missed you so fucking much, I’ve NEVER stopped waiting. I waited an entire year for you to come back, doesn’t that deserve anything. or do you just not care. I know more about you than you think I do, and y’know what? next time you come online, I’m not going to pretend. I’m not going to say ‘he’s just come back, atleast give him a nice welcome.’ I’m going to act the way I feel, then maybe you’ll say, once you realise that not all of your friends are cared for, loved, and protected.
fuck it, I need you. I wish you’d have never messaged me, you’ve made me miss you even more. I cried when you sent me that message, and froze, looking at your picture, I actually shook with emotion. god, why can’t you just come back? why can’t it just be like old times? talking every morning, you making me late for school, me stealing my friends phone just so I could reply to you. I miss that. Imiss you, I..I need you back. now. I need someone, anyone. no, not anyone. I need YOU. you and only you. that’s it. yesterday, I was so fucking happy, I felt like I could finally get better. now? pfft, it’s begins with an S, and ends with an uicidal.
Please, just come back, my rambleings are almost incoherent. but I couldn’t care less, I just, I need you to come back, for good. please, help me. I need it, I can’t do this on my own anymore. I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried, but. I can’t do it. I just can’t, it doesn’t work, nothing works. except you. it’s been a fucking year for christ sake. a whole fucking year! I don’t give a toss if there’s a three years difference, why does it matter? honestly, give me a good reason apart from ‘it’s wrong’. society makes it wrong, but society also said you were insane, society also said you were to be outcast because of your clothes. I’d never toss you away, but you would to me? wouldn’t you? don’t doubt that, everyone does anyway. fuck it, why should you care?
I hope you do care, I do, I really do. but it’s not likely. oh well, didn’t see myself living past my 16th anyway. I probably will be gone by next April.
…Save me.
Mayday, mayday
Someone save me
I am fragile
Oh, somebody rescue me
Oh, somebody tell me you will
Ohhh ohhh ohhh
Ahh-o0o0o0o
In concrete heartache
Left me awake
Sleepless sleeper
Oh, somebody wake me up
Oh, somebody tell me you will
Tell me that you’re going to save me
That everything is gonna be okay
I’m screaming but nobody can hear me
Can you save me from………myself
Ohhh ohhh ohhh
No, no, no, no
How can this be?
I’ve tried and tried and tried
But I’m sill lost out at sea
When did I become the things that I used to hate
I’m stranded to this ship
Left to fall with a crash of the waves
Tell me that you’re going to save me
That everything is gonna be okay
I’m screaming but nobody can hear me
Can you save me from………myself
And tell me that you’re going to save me
That everything is gonna be okay
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
(Mayday by The Icarus Account)