im tired, im lonely, im too afraid too be happy because if i dare to let myself slip into joy the world will get back at me and crush the lifeless, cold, black hole that used to be any hope i had so desperatly scraped up… and since i have nothing left to live for what could EVER possibly be the point in living!? im so tired of smiling at people i hate, trying to be kind,then hey flip me of, call me names,think im a freak,im acting like nothings wrong when im already past dyeing inside! and have moved on to rotting ALIVE! my health is horrible ,my mental state is completely fucked, no one bothers to talk to me any more .. the damn cycologists think its not worth what their paying them, and they STILL wont take me to an orphanage or foster care! they think im fucking ATTENTION SEEKING!!!!! wtf am i supposed to do, can any one tell me the best way to commit suicide?