First off, I feel bad. Why? Because I read these stories on here, and I feel selfish and unknowing of how good I have it where I am. But for some reason, it isn’t what I want and isn’t what is making me happy. That’s not necessarily my fault, right?
I’m 17, a month from 18. My main problem is with my parents right now. I disobeyed them and dated someone they did not approve of. So, naturally, they warn me not to again. I say okay, and say I’m going to other people’s place and when I’m not. I get away with that for about four months when they find out again. This time, they ground me to my room, only leaving for school and work (which I both hate, but were heaven compared to home) until I graduate in May. That’s just unreasonable. So I spent weeks in hell, just lying in my bed, hoping there was an end. I was never a suicide type of person, ever. I’ve never attempted it, to be honest. I’m afraid of dying. But I sometimes wonder if that would be better for me.
I had a very loving mother and boyfriend before all this happened. I tried to move out, but they won’t let me since I’m not 18. They very much dislike my boyfriend because of his age, and cannot see past it. My boyfriend is THE best ever. If it wasn’t for him. I don’t know if I’d be alive right now. He’s my reason for getting up in the morning, and going to school and work.
There’s so much more to add, but I’m just rambling. I just need some advice and help before I go insane….