I am pretty sure this is my last try.

I have attempted suicide before, and failed. They have taken away my guns. I took a dive off of a very high bridge. Only to be rescued by some heroic fisherman. I haven’t tried pills because I don’t know which ones would be absolute. But I have been tortured long enough. So I have put a lot of thought into it. And I have a perfect plan. I have thought way ahead. As I have been caught in the act before. I have rented a house way out in the sticks. I have spread the word around that I am leaving on vacation. I have filled my garage with used lawn equipment. And in about an hour I am going out there and starting it all up. I have put a nice recliner out there. And a stereo with a nice pair of bose headphones, to drown out the noise. But before I wanted to write down a little bit of why I am going ahead with this.
I have been in hell (litterally) I spent two tours in VietNam. And the nightmares have never stopped. Forty years of dealing with that is just too much. There are some things the human mind just not meant to hold.
goodby to the few people that have tried to help me. And best of luck to any that follows in my path.