I have been having thoughts of killing myself on/off for several years now. I have even lost my 20+ years of sobriety. I just “want to go home”. I am sick of the struggles, of the things in my past that affect me each day to the core of my being. I have spent thousands seeing several therapists, all to no avail. I am a walking robot cut off from the world about me. I am successfully employed and financially stable with loving friends and family. But nobody can understand the depths of my hell. The horror called life. I am so done. I am tired of fighting with my significant other and with the damaged part of my spirit. I am already dead inside….I just need the courage.