Most people who know me would say I’m a pretty forgiving person. But there’s just one person I will never forgive. The asshole who raped me. He was 16. I was 12. We had been best friends for 8 years. He told me he loved me. He said he cared about me. He said I was the most beautiful girl. And because I was so ignorant, I believed him. He took me into his house, made me get drunk. And then he threw me into his closet. He ripped off my clothes and called me disgusting. He kicked me to the ground, to the point where I was gasping for air. I begged him to stop. He just called me a pathetic piece of shit. He raped me while I was crying and shaking. He threw me on the ground so he could kick and punch me. I don’t understand what I did to deserve that? I wasd a good little girl. I never did anything wrong. But because he raped me, my life has never been the same. I can’t hold steady reLationships with anyone. I get scared every time a guy hugs me or touches me in any way. I have nightmares about being raped again. I can’t trust anyone. And now I have to cut and burn myself to relieve all this pain. Everything is just too much…..I need it all to stop.