There is this guy Edward whom I have known for 7 years, we were in the Army together, and got deployed together so we know each other, but I got married to someone else then divorced, but Edward was always just a phone call away, we havn’t seen each other in the 7 years, but we were planning on me flying out to see him, in May, we live 1800 miles apart, right now, things were going good for the past couple of months, then he wouldn’t answer the phone, text me back or email me back, finally I texted him if he was seeing another woman, he said no, but he text me back that he doesn’t know whats wrong with him, he doesnt know who he is and what he wants. I was afraid of this, I don’t want to let him go like I had to the 2 previous men I have loved including my husband. I have been single for so long and I just want to be with someone like Edward who understands me, but he is pushing me away, and it’s killing me, I guess I’m free to date now, I just don’t think that there is anyone else for me, Its hard enough to get out of bed put my makeup on, beat traffic, its work just to get to work, then do my job, then beat afternoon traffic, I’m 30 years old now, the Army broke me, my ex husband broke me, how can I fight for someone who blows me off? Who doesnt answer the phone? I’m F’n Tired, I am facing reality: Divorced, in debt, lonely. He can’t give me a straight answer, If he told me that he doesn’t love me, then it would be easier…I texted him if he was suicidal and I got no response. I’m willing to accept the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life, and I would rather die.
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BTW, he’s not just blowing me off, its everybody his mom, dad, friends…
I should just date other guys i don’t feel like it, I’ve been rejected too many times and the guys where I live are soooo picky! UGh! I’m not an ugly woman either, I’ve been told by men and women that I’m pretty.
I know, I know, what you are all thinking: Cry me a river.
But seriously: this is it for me I cant go on, anymore, I dont want to, I was not meant to live a life of lonliness.
I know how you feel…I moved back to my home town about 2 years ago and my friends here are all married with kids and I have never been as lonely as I have these last two years. I basically have no social life right now and it is hard and I have the same feeling of not wanting to go on anymore so you are not alone.