I hate myself. I hate every little aspect of me. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay. I’m tired of putting on that fake smile. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t even know who I am. I look in the mirror and see a stranger.
I don’t want to try anymore. I don’t want to try and get good grades. I don’t want to try to loose weight. I don’t want to try to make myself not so hideous. I just want to lay in my bed and never leave.
What do I do? Do I keep on living this life I hate? Do I keep on pretending? Or do I stop pretendingÂ and just end it now. That option seems the best.
I know I’m not going to be able to do it though. I couldn’t do that to my family… and I don’t know what would happen to me after death.
I’m going to cut tonight, I haven’t done it in at least a month, so I’m in desperate need.
I wish I could just take a break. a long break from life, I just need to breathe again.