I thought I have heard it all and seen it all. I hate my life sometimes, and I hate my family. But sometimes it is hard to say this.
Many times when I’m ready to give up, I tell my friends that I won’t even though they know it as well as I do that itâ€™s a bold faced lie. When things get bad I always want to give up. But my friends try to encourage me to keep going. But even when the going gets tough, I’m always ready to throw in the towel.Â How canÂ I keep this up before I completely lose it and tell myself that life isn’t worth living anymore? Slowly I start to hide from those who care, and I regress more and more. The sad part is my parents finally notice that stress makes me depressed; now I’m on a happy pill that makes me sick if I don’t eat. Everyone notices when I take my meds and when I don’t.Â I think I’ve finally lost it, but I honestly don’t care.
Sometimes I just have to sit down and clear my mind, and let the bad thoughts float away. As much as this will help me I canâ€™t do it. I canâ€™t relax and I canâ€™t concentrate. Because now the insomnia starts once again. This should be fun. I was already late for school today, and now I might be grounded. Ugh, my parents are such a pain in the ass. I could show them how I act when I donâ€™t have my phone or when I canâ€™t go out, but it doesnâ€™t matter I hardly ever go out anyway.Â My best friend hates me right now. My ex bf is an ass. I hate him she hates him, he says he loves me. My best friend is mad at me because of him. Wtf do I do? I can’t lose my best friend she is the only reason why I havenâ€™t done myself in. wtf do I do? I canâ€™t deal with this shit anymore. I already miss my best friend; because she wonâ€™t talk to me well fuck everyone then. Iâ€™m done. I have no one to talk to, and no one who will listen. Everyone who says they care is just listening so they can tell my parents, some friends huh. Iâ€™m not sure how Iâ€™ll make eat through to next week. Iâ€™m pretty pissed as is. I donâ€™t think I can deal with this shit anymore. What the fuck ever.