I thought I have heard it all and seen it all. I hate my life sometimes, and I hate my family. But sometimes it is hard to say this.
Many times when I’m ready to give up, I tell my friends that I won’t even though they know it as well as I do that it’s a bold faced lie. When things get bad I always want to give up. But my friends try to encourage me to keep going. But even when the going gets tough, I’m always ready to throw in the towel. How can I keep this up before I completely lose it and tell myself that life isn’t worth living anymore? Slowly I start to hide from those who care, and I regress more and more. The sad part is my parents finally notice that stress makes me depressed; now I’m on a happy pill that makes me sick if I don’t eat. Everyone notices when I take my meds and when I don’t. I think I’ve finally lost it, but I honestly don’t care.
Sometimes I just have to sit down and clear my mind, and let the bad thoughts float away. As much as this will help me I can’t do it. I can’t relax and I can’t concentrate. Because now the insomnia starts once again. This should be fun. I was already late for school today, and now I might be grounded. Ugh, my parents are such a pain in the ass. I could show them how I act when I don’t have my phone or when I can’t go out, but it doesn’t matter I hardly ever go out anyway. My best friend hates me right now. My ex bf is an ass. I hate him she hates him, he says he loves me. My best friend is mad at me because of him. Wtf do I do? I can’t lose my best friend she is the only reason why I haven’t done myself in. wtf do I do? I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I already miss my best friend; because she won’t talk to me well fuck everyone then. I’m done. I have no one to talk to, and no one who will listen. Everyone who says they care is just listening so they can tell my parents, some friends huh. I’m not sure how I’ll make eat through to next week. I’m pretty pissed as is. I don’t think I can deal with this shit anymore. What the fuck ever.
6 comments
take the first step and go to your best friend to talk to her and make it up with her. If you have done something you regret, just say sorry to her, i’m sure she’ll forgive you. And also, try not to push your friends back, it’s good to have friends who care about you!Why do you hate your ex bf? remember, he’s not the most important in the world, boys can dissapoint you and they come and go, just don’t give your heart quickly to any boy!
I now look forward to your comments. they seem to lighten things a bit. and she is really stubborn and doesnt give way as easily. and i was pissed when i wrote that. adn i was fired up about him. so ya.
glad to hear that 🙂 it doesn’t matter if you were fired up about him, just be carefull with any bf, you can only trust men if they’ve proven you that you can trust them, I just don’t want you to get hurt more! hmmm so if she’s stubborn then you have to be flexible and try not to be stubborn at that moment, so that she’ll chill out a little and start to talk to you. she’ll probably be more stubborn when she’s mad i guess.
well i finally got her to tlk to me. which was good. i am happy about that. i mean i actually had a pretty good day aside from not taking my meds.
nice to hear that! 😀 hope that after a while you’ll be so optimistic and happy that you’ll stop with meds (of course after discussing it with your doctor)
thank you. and that is a possibility. i finally did take my meds after finally eating something.