General it’s been 2 years.. by lixie 3/8/2011 written by lixie 3/8/2011 Since my last cut. Now I’m back counting again. 2 minutes now, since my last cut.. 2 seconds.. 31 comments 0 Email Related posts Satisfactory is good enough 10/18/2021 Numb to the Core 10/18/2021 Suicidal 10/18/2021 plaything 10/17/2021 When little to nothing brings you joy 10/16/2021 It hurts but I can’t cry for some... 10/16/2021 Protected: Ptsd 10/16/2021 ¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!.¡!¡!¡!¡!¡! 10/15/2021 I don’t understand myself either 10/15/2021 Don’t want to rot away in an elder... 10/15/2021 31 comments Zeke2010 3/8/2011 - 9:21 am Stop cutting yourself. Log in to Reply Rocky90 3/8/2011 - 9:22 am enjoy Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 9:22 am ): if you can stop cutting again you should…it could get infected or bleed too much… Log in to Reply Zeke2010 3/8/2011 - 9:34 am Cutters do not want to die. They are just stupid. Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 9:35 am @zeke… i rly suggest not saying that. it’s stupid to make them feel worse. Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 9:54 am you don’t know what I want Zeke2010. Maeliin, thank you, I’m keeping it under control. It’s just so depressing that I was so good for two years, it kept me strong when I said to myself that it’s 2 years since I cut. Suddenly I forgot, and now I’m right back where I started :\ Log in to Reply Zeke2010 3/8/2011 - 10:01 am They do not realize is that they are leaving scars which are permanent. Its like putting a record in your personal folder that stays with your for life. If you try to get a job and your employer sees scars on your arm hes not going to hire you because they are going to think you cannot control your own actions. They are not going to see the scars and say “Awww you must have had a hard life”. No. They are going to say “this person is an idiot for cutting themselves”. I don’t want to hear the story about trading one pain for another bs. So take my advice above. Stop being stupid and stop cutting yourself. If you have time to cut your self you have time to think about why you are cutting your self and hopefully in that thought process you should say “wtf am I doing?”. Log in to Reply Zeke2010 3/8/2011 - 10:08 am I know exactly what you want because there is only one reason why you are cutting your self. You want the “Good Feeling Ferry” to fly in and crap good feeling sprinkles on your face. Guess what! Not going to happen. Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:12 am @zeke… shush. @lixie… ): i only recently started cutting, and i try to stop but it’s almost an addiction, ya know? anyways, if there’s anything i can do to help you, please tell me 🙂 Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:12 am Well, thank you for making my day so much better.. Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:14 am @lixie… if zeke is going to be rude please ignore him/her. ): i’m sorry your day got better (i say sorry cuz i’m pretty sure it was sarcasm…) Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:15 am yes Maeliin, it’s an addiction! I tattoed over the scars to stop it, and it worked for 2 years, now I’ve cut around the tattoo, just some small cuts, they wont even leave a scar. But the fact that I took that blade and did it, made me feel stupid for not being able to controll my addiction. I’ve recently quit smoking too, and that’s going good, at least it did until yesterday, when I smoked a 10pk in an hour. So fighting two addictions and failing at them both :\ Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:16 am yes I’m ignoring him 🙂 he’s only telling me stuff I already know and remind myself every day. So it’s not making any difference. 🙂 Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:18 am >__< isn't tatooing scary? and…i'm glad they are small cuts but if you can put the blade in the trash can now…doing that will stop you from cutting for at least a little bit, right? Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:19 am ._. half my comment didn’t send… in the other half i basically said you should try to not smoke cuz it’ll save u pain but i worded it nicer… x.x sry Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:28 am haven’t smoked since yesterday, so I’m doing fine. I’ve stopped cutting now, and I guess I’ll have to wear long sleves for a few days until the wounds are healed, it doesn’t hurt more either. 🙂 I’m doing better now, thanks 🙂 Log in to Reply Zeke2010 3/8/2011 - 10:31 am Here is a thought: If you want to not have pain how about not cutting yourself. No? Yes? Goodest? Besterment? Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:31 am (: i’m glad your doing better Log in to Reply Maeliin 3/8/2011 - 10:32 am @zeke… SHUSH. Log in to Reply life sucks thin u die 3/8/2011 - 10:35 am Lixie if u ever wanna talk about it I am hear. I hope ur ok 🙂 Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:51 am Doing very good right now actually. Thank you all for careing <3 This place always cheers me up! You are all amazeing people, except for Zeke2010! 🙂 Log in to Reply life sucks thin u die 3/8/2011 - 10:52 am U can delete his comments if u wanna Or if they make u feel really bad Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 10:59 am Nah, they make me feel good. It makes me realize I am a caring person, and people needs me and my words. The world needs more of me, and all you others that have commented here, and it needs less people like Zeke2010. No wonder people kill themselves when there is people like that out there. Log in to Reply life sucks thin u die 3/8/2011 - 11:02 am I like the way u look at life. I used to look at it like that idk what happen. Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 11:11 am It’s not easy, and it’s taken me some years. For me it’s my mother. I care to much about her to end my life, although I’ve tried 2 times. I saw what it did to her, and I’ve never seen her like that, she was so lost in space. I then decided to see a therapist, and it worked alot for me. This was when I was 17 years old. I stopped cutting for over a year until I got a boyfriend who cheated and lied alot, I was with him for 2 and a half years, cut all the time, wanted to kill myself but couldn’t because of my mother. A year ago I broke up with him, and my life was fine and sometime now in march it would have been 2 years since my last cut. I cut again today because my life is slowly falling apart. the past 5-6 hours I’ve cried, cut and realized I can fix it. I am strong, and I can fight the person inside of me that wants me dead, she will not win. 🙂 Log in to Reply shonimonster 3/8/2011 - 12:38 pm i understand….. Log in to Reply FUCKME 3/8/2011 - 12:48 pm two different reasons why people cut…. do you cut to feel alive or do you cut to feel relief? Log in to Reply neverthesame 3/8/2011 - 12:49 pm @zeke2010 You don’t have a single clue what you’re talking about. Trust me. I used to think it was dumb to cut yourself too. But when I actually did it, I realized why people do it. I do it because it’s the closest thing I have to suicide. I can’t kill myself, so I just cut and feel a glimpse of pain, as people would feel pain before a suicide. A lot of other people do it for several of other reasons. There not “crazy” they do it as a coping mechanism. For one, I don’t cut on my arms. I cut on my legs, so if I were to get a job I would be fine. And I’m sure a lot of smarter people would wear long sleeves to an interview anyways. You act like people who cut are stupid. This is totally false. I have met so many fascinating people in my life who have cut themselves. People commit suicide, people cut, people kill others, people starve themselves. People do things that some others may not understand, but just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean you have any room to judge. Now this website is a support website meant for people to support each other, not put other people down. So if you’re not gonna support people, then please do us a favor and get the fuck off this website. @Lixie, I congratulate you for going two years without cutting. That’s a long time and you should be proud of yourself for just that! So you had a slip up, you’re human. I just give you my best of wishes to move forward through you’re addiction and I’m giving you 150% of support along the way. 🙂 Log in to Reply softsoul 3/8/2011 - 12:56 pm Guys…everyone makes comments off-the-cuff. Hopefully Zeke is aware of that. @lixie..hope you can find someone to talk to. I cut a few times but I realized why am I acting out on myself. I needed to find a way to let the frustration, anger or whatever out., but not on myself and that’s what self harm is…it’s like “I don’t know what else to do, and I feel trapped”…that’s how I felt…my guess is you may want to think about owning whatever is eating at you….(we want to kill it..and we confuse it by hurting or killing ourselves)…kind of of like going through something instead of hitting the brakes and cutting your arm off, so-to-speak. Open to chatting any time. You seem extremely sweet, too sweet to be hurt by anyone, especially yourself. Take care. Cheers. Log in to Reply lixie 3/8/2011 - 1:03 pm @FUCKME – I cut to feel relief. Think it’s easier to handle physical pain, than mental pain. @neverthesame – Thank you, I can tell you this; I didn’t cut alot, won’t even leave a scar, and I’m satisfied with that. I’ll wear long sleves until they are healed 🙂 Feeling much more better now, talked to some friends. Hope it will last a while 🙂 @softsoul – I totally agree with you, that’s exactly what I feel! Thank you for the compliments, everything you say, and everyone says is making me feel so much better now! I went from wanting to die, to loving every second in just a few hours! Thank you, all of you <3 Log in to Reply softsoul 3/8/2011 - 3:44 pm My pleasure lixie…your comment gave me my purpose for this day. Can you see your presence and your life has more power than you may credit yourself…..you are very dear…It’s just the truth. Very, very dear. I’m glad that made you feel better. Cheers! Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.