i feel that i have ruined my mum life. she had me when she was young and i feel if i wasnt alive she would be much more happy have more going for her life. Â she is alcoholic and drinks all the time comes home drunk most the time, Â i know i dont make her drink and stuff but i just think Â if she didn’t have me sheÂ wouldn’tÂ do that or feel like that. and that just makes me feel sad and makes me feel like i deserve to feel like this, i should feel sad and angry miserable all the time. theres all this other stuff why i feel like this.. Â i have hurt myself alot of times by cutting myself i like the feeling i cantÂ explainÂ why i like hurting my self i just do. Â i wish i justÂ wasn’tÂ here and everything would just end. Â one day ill do it ill end everything.