I’m just existing, I perform the basic human necessaties, I have extreme anxiety especially at night knowing that I have to get up and go to work in the morning It’s hard for me to fall asleep and as soon as my alarm goes off my mind immediatly ‘shuts down’ I don’t want to get out of bed and face the day, face reality, anxiety takes it hold over me, its the whole process of another day, over and over again, I avoid ppl at work, I force myself to smile, only if they smile first…the stupid little things drive me crazy. I escape through my dreams. Its hard to concentrate even though I try to read, I just hate tv now, its all trash, food doesnt have any taste anymore. On and on my existance goes. Unless I end it.
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I can empathize with you. I feel as though I am just “going through the motions” of living and cannot get myself to do even the simplest things (getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, much less eating, talking to anybody, or going out). I can also relate to the least little things being bothersome. Work has become practically unbearable, as I have been getting in later and later…sometimes not going in at all and calling in sick because I feel too terrible about things (the depression is just too severe), and I just want to sleep and not wake up. Just too overwhelming with no reprieve or respite in sight.
You’re not alone with how you feel…I lost my taste for food ages ago, and anxiety and all sorts of symptoms pervade the day. Many people have been going through what you’re describing for a long time. My whole body is numb…lethargic…moody.
What’s with your ID name…not-good-enough…I may be having a not so great experience, but I am good enough…and so are you…Take care.
Yeah I would like to change my user name, but it can’t be done on this site, I created the user name like 3 years ago, at a time when I felt I was not good enough for my ex husband and thrown into singleness and trying to date again was a disaster, I do consider my self good enough, I’m just really depressed.
I completly know where your coming from (as I lay in bed till the last minute I can before work). I stay up late, knowing when I close my eyes the next thing I’m going to hear is the horrible alarm clock ringing in another day too much like the last. I hope you fight the good fight and any urges to end it. Altho I’m hardly one to talk as I feel the same way sometimes. If you ever want someone to chat with or just someone to listen my mail is forgottenmichigan @ gmail .com
“I stay up late, knowing when I close my eyes the next thing I’m going to hear is the horrible alarm clock ringing in another day too much like the last.”
This has been me every night for months now. I’m surprised I haven’t collapsed yet from sleep deprivation.