Health class was terrible today! I had to sit and listen to my teacher talk about suicide for 47 minutes. It took all I had not to burst into tears. I think I might be a little bit bipolar. I can go from being happy and feeling nice one minute and the next be very depressed and suicidal for no reason at all. Or be very optimistic and then be pessimistic. I can go from being confident about myself to really hating myself, mostly I hate myself though. i’ve thought about talking to this one teacher i really like because he’s bipolar but im fairly certain he would have to report me and then my rents would know. I want to go back into therapy but the person I saw before was not cheap. Plus if it is my brain chemistry is bad then I’ll need medication. And I don’t think my family could afford that. We already have to pay for a lot of prescriptions (shity health care) and my dad recently went to the er for a broken wrist, that cost 15,000 and that is just for the er visit!! My dad isn’t able to drive so therefore my mother would do the driving and I know she already has to too much on her plate without worrying about me cutting or killing myself. i think that’s all.
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I’m sorry things aren’t going great. I know what you mean about feeling so all over the place. I don’t know whether you need to be on medication but there are plenty of other things you can do. Exercise can help and there are self hlep things you can find anline, as well as ofcourse talking on here and trying to find things in life that you enjoy doing.
Thanks for the advice! anything new with you?
Na spent yesterday helping people clean up their house and went to the doctor again today. Basicly nothing new, if I’m still getting headaches on Monday then she’ll put me on something else and wants me to try counselling again soon. What about you?
Just school and homework. i might start yoga classes with my mom and sister but that’s about it. you should read 10 suicide attempts in 10 months it was posted on the 28th. i dont really have anything to talk about, just a little bored
above and below by the bravery
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I’ll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I’ll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
Ooohhhhhh
Oooohhhhh
I must believe
There’s more above us and below
I must believe
Stranded with this ***** called hope
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is go
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is disappear
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I’ll leave today
Cause there’s nothing left to keep me here
I’ll fade away
I’ll turn my back and disappear
The city moves
Lunges up right from the ground
The seething Earth
It opens up and spits us out
This vicious child
Nature never wanted us
This vicious child
A cancer burning black into its heart
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I’ll leave today
Cause there’s nothing left to keep me here
I’ll fade away
I’ll turn my back and disappear
Ooohhhhhh
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I’ll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I’ll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I’ll leave today
Cause there’s nothing left to keep me here
I’ll fade away
I’ll turn my back and disappear
I’ll turn my back and disappear
I like the song btw. I’ve read that post, that person has shown so much strength just to be here today and to write about it.
Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren
One that pushes me along and leaves me so
Desperate and Ravenous
I’m so weak and powerless over you
Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom
Desperate and Ravenous
I’m so weak and powerless over you
Little angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I’ll never hear a word you say
He promised I would find a little solace
And some piece of mind
Whatever just as long as I don’t feel so
Desperate and Ravenous
I’m so weak and powerless
Desperate and Ravenous
I’m so weak and powerless
over you
Did I mention I have a Tool tattoo?
A perfect circle. we do have very similar tastes in music. Have you ever gone on the website pandora? it’s cool because you type in a band and it will play bands that are similar to it. And yes you did mention that, i think you told me in one of our first few conversations. That’s pretty bad ass lol. I’m not sure id be brave enough to get a tattoo. 🙂 one of my all time favorite tool songs is lateralus. Fucking amazing!
I love it all, I don’t know what my favourite song I’d have to just list Lateralus, Parabola, Schism, Sober, Aenima, Vicarious, The Grudge, Sweat, Wings Part two to name a few. I think thats a good list. Have you heard of Ashes Divide? Started by the same guy that started A Perfect Circle. They only have one album but I think they’re pretty cool.
no i haven’t heard of them, when i learn about a band it’s because my sisters listen to it in the car in the morning. it kind of sucks when i don’t like the band though. im going to listen to one of Ashes Divide’s songs. Any sugestions?
I think too late would be my favourite or the stone I cant decide lol. Both awesome songs.
i liked the stone better, the video was a little weird, but i like weird. They weren’t my favorite. I don’t understand how someone can have a favortie song. i cant even decide on a band.
Yea I found them on some Pandora type online radio website. I like the lyrics as much as the words. I don’t people need a favourite band. I say Tool but I like APC just as much (same singer I know) and then I also love Deftones, None Inch Nails and a few other bands then theres the classics that I like to listen to. The Doors, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd and many more lol.
i really should go to bed now it’s 12am here. Good night don’t let the bed bugs bite but if they do hit them with a shoe til they turn black and blue!
Goodnight, stay safe