no, actually, I used to date the “counter girl” at my work, am still quite fond of her. anywho, this guy I didn’t like the look of came up and kissed her (knew she was seeing someone else) and I snapped. unfortunately so did his jaw, ergo the assault charges. (and most likely hospital bill)
well, I dislocated two knuckles but yes, it felt great. Of course, the pain I caused the girl I feel bad about. I really did like her and I hate hurting her, but well, I’m emotionally unstable and that was too much to an already bad day.
I was reading something last night that made me think. I wonder if I haven’t subconsciously been commiting suicide for years now, by destroying my career and the relationships in my life. I’ve failed at suicide so many times, maybe it was something I did so that my situation would become so hopeless that I would have no other choice.
I’ve also wondered that myself, thus the name 20 excuses. I had 20 “excuses” to live, and as I ticked them off and disproved them, I grew closer to suicide. Now it’s almost time.
I hope you will live. Sorry to hear what happened. I’m sure I would be really pissed off if the girl I was dating was kissing another guy. I’m curious why she didn’t stop him from doing so though… if she didn’t want him to I’m pretty sure she could’ve stopped it… maybe..
Well.. she could’ve been seeing that guy behind your back… not to try to make things worse for you. If someone kisses you, and you don’t get mad at that person, doesn’t stop that person, but instead leave the person you’re with… that’s a sign that she was cheating on you with him… or something like that… I was with someone like that long long ago. Girls who cheat aren’t worth it… and what’s your time and method?
I’m sure she was, honestly. As to time, it’s March 16th of this year. method, 12 gauge shotgun to the head in my car, but I’ll have 10 helium tanks running in it as well just in case.
oh, it’s not her, sorry to have conveyed that point. I am not killing myself for a girl, but because of who I am, what I will be. tick 20 was the last chance at having a family, and it was the least important excuse.
well, I have a long post somewhere in the archives. I’m 20. I want to die because my entire life I have hurt people and I continue to do so. (like today) I have no future, as I continiously destroy any chance at success that comes my way. I’m toxic, and I self destruct.
It’s ok if it’s long.
You can change all that though. You don’t have to hurt people anymore (idk how you did so) but you don’t have to do that. You can just stop that. I’m sure it’s not too hard. You’re not toxic. I’m sure you can do well. If you have a goal or anything, just work towards that instead.
Well, my goals have all burnt to a crisp. I hurt others emotionally, I lead people on, use them. physically, I have beaten many people, some almost to death. I also used to rob them, but I made peace with my past. no, it’s my future that is my problem, and my present
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how did this shit happen ?
You beat up someone you delivered a pizza to? What happened?
no, actually, I used to date the “counter girl” at my work, am still quite fond of her. anywho, this guy I didn’t like the look of came up and kissed her (knew she was seeing someone else) and I snapped. unfortunately so did his jaw, ergo the assault charges. (and most likely hospital bill)
And this was when ?
approximately 7 hours ago. just got out on bail :/
🙁 This sucks arse man…
Hope at least the punch felt good.
Did you lose your job?
Nevermind.. I wasn’t thinking.
well, I dislocated two knuckles but yes, it felt great. Of course, the pain I caused the girl I feel bad about. I really did like her and I hate hurting her, but well, I’m emotionally unstable and that was too much to an already bad day.
and otherside, that’s ok, we all don’t think sometimes ( my day as case in point)
I was reading something last night that made me think. I wonder if I haven’t subconsciously been commiting suicide for years now, by destroying my career and the relationships in my life. I’ve failed at suicide so many times, maybe it was something I did so that my situation would become so hopeless that I would have no other choice.
I’ve also wondered that myself, thus the name 20 excuses. I had 20 “excuses” to live, and as I ticked them off and disproved them, I grew closer to suicide. Now it’s almost time.
I hope you will live. Sorry to hear what happened. I’m sure I would be really pissed off if the girl I was dating was kissing another guy. I’m curious why she didn’t stop him from doing so though… if she didn’t want him to I’m pretty sure she could’ve stopped it… maybe..
well, we broke up about a week ago. she was tick 20. I already have a date and a method.
Well.. she could’ve been seeing that guy behind your back… not to try to make things worse for you. If someone kisses you, and you don’t get mad at that person, doesn’t stop that person, but instead leave the person you’re with… that’s a sign that she was cheating on you with him… or something like that… I was with someone like that long long ago. Girls who cheat aren’t worth it… and what’s your time and method?
I hope you don’t go through with it though.. and live on..
I’m sure she was, honestly. As to time, it’s March 16th of this year. method, 12 gauge shotgun to the head in my car, but I’ll have 10 helium tanks running in it as well just in case.
Don’t kill yourself because of her. I seem hypocritical when I say that, but she left cause she cheated, she’s not worth it.
I think you should live on… and find someone better than that. That method does sound like it’ll work… but… idk.. it’ll be painful.
oh, it’s not her, sorry to have conveyed that point. I am not killing myself for a girl, but because of who I am, what I will be. tick 20 was the last chance at having a family, and it was the least important excuse.
I see. I never heard your story. So how old are you and what happened that you wanna die too?
well, I have a long post somewhere in the archives. I’m 20. I want to die because my entire life I have hurt people and I continue to do so. (like today) I have no future, as I continiously destroy any chance at success that comes my way. I’m toxic, and I self destruct.
story in a very small nutshell. there’s more fragments in other posts to other people. just trying to keep it short 🙂
It’s ok if it’s long.
You can change all that though. You don’t have to hurt people anymore (idk how you did so) but you don’t have to do that. You can just stop that. I’m sure it’s not too hard. You’re not toxic. I’m sure you can do well. If you have a goal or anything, just work towards that instead.
Well, my goals have all burnt to a crisp. I hurt others emotionally, I lead people on, use them. physically, I have beaten many people, some almost to death. I also used to rob them, but I made peace with my past. no, it’s my future that is my problem, and my present
Did you try finding new goals in life and working towards them?
yes, see, even as I actively work towards them, I find ways to sabotage and self destruct. Eventually I just gave up.