My dysfunctional family

My dads being a jerk and saying that if I want to hang out or see him I have to give 24 hour notice, yet when I do he forgets and makes plans with his girlfriend. I feel like I don’t matter to him. If something comes up he just doesn’t tell me until I’m ready to go and call him cause he’s late!  When I was younger he was my hero and now he’s ignoring me but asks why I don’t hang out with him! I still love him but my opinion of him is changing alot lately. He even breaks our promises about hanging out so he can keep his with his girlfriend and her daughter even if we had plans first. Am I not inportant toa him? That question runs through my head frequently. It also makes me mad that he lied to me about the fact he cheated on my mom and then his girlfriend and my mom confirmed that his was cheating! He says he cares but doesn’t act like it. I haven’t told him I’m suicidal cause I’m scared he’ll hate me or get mad and not believe me. I can’t open up to him at all and the last time I tried he fell asleep and when I woke him he ditched me for his girlfriend text even though I said it was inportant! I feel alone. I’m only 14 and want to die so I won’t trouble him and the rest of famliy.