I finally realized I’m not the only who feels like their life is a living hell. And i also realized that i’m not the only one who wants to just disapear off the face of the earth. Sometimes i feel like taking some alcoholic beverage from my parents room and just drinking until i pass out. This sounds like so much fun to me. but so does taking 3 motrin 800mg and then passing out until two days later. Now i feel like breaking down, i wish i had a shoulder to cry or a guy to hold me tightly in his arms while my body shudders from the cold and the tears that run down my cheeks. All these ways i know how to harm my body, but im so emotionally fucked up I just dont kno whow to deal with it anymore, im tired of putting on a smile when i go to school so no one will ask questions and i can be depressed and sad inside and when i’m at home and alone. hiding in my room for hours listening to music fighting the urge to breakdown and take out the knife by which i’ve used so mant times before.Â I just want to run away until i cant move anymore, but just once i wish i had someone to hold me in their arms while i cry and just lose myself long enough for the self hate i feel to leave my body.
i just really have no idea what to do anymore.