Self-harming – my safety

This is my first post ever so i don’t know if it’ll be fucked up but anyhow I’ll just go for it. I self-harmed for 2 years, I haven’t cut or burned myself for 4 months now, but everyday is a struggle. I even dream about cutting myself, I have this craving. It was my safety, to cut myself and now I cant do it anymore and it hurts so bad. I know it’s for my own good, but I just don’t understand why I can’t do it when it made me feel so good? I go to DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy) twice a week and all I do there is lying! If my therapist asks me if I’ve had been thinking about self-harming or if I’ve had any suicide thoughts I answer no though It’s not true because all I want is to get out of there. I am normal and I don’t need help I just want people to leave me alone and let me self harm. That’s really all I am asking for. I didn’t really have any purpose with writing this.. I just thought I’d feel good.