I have lost my ability to feel, to have emotion, but yet I am afraid of the pain.
Why would I consider the affects of failing at suicide, if I plan on succeeding?
Maybe if I have brain damage, someone might care about me.
I wonder who might this affect, but I have no one.
I think some people might feel sad but not very long.
I doubt anyone would go into depression about me.
I use to think that if I die, my mom would be heart broken.
I use to think she cared about me, but she blamed me for ruining her life.
Maybe I did, maybe that’s why our whole lives been fucked up.
I doesn’t matter if I’m top of my class or I do everything I’m told
or that I have never been in trouble, I’m still not good enough.
I’m never been to good at having friends.
People tend to use me or get tired of me.
Boys? No guy could ever love me.
No one could ever love me.
I am nothing but disaster.
So if I have nothing to lose, what is stopping me?
9 comments
You’re not a disaster. I’m sure there are guys who will love to be with you. The guys who don’t, are probably just not the right one for you. Everyone’s afraid of pain… it’s natural to. If you’re not feeling well, you can talk to me if you want. I’ll help you as best as I can and be there for you if you want me to.
Im sorry ur going through all of this. I can understand alot about what ur going through, except for the not being able to feel. For me im overly emotional, i cry at just about everything :/ My parents hate me, people use me all the time….i only have had 2 people in my life actually care about me. Relationships never work out for me either cuz im pretty much insane (no exaggeration. Everyone just rejects me because of my problems. So i kinda understand how ya feel. Im here if u wanna talk. My email is:
Daniel56843@ gmail .com (no spaces between @ and gmail and gmail and .com)
Or we could just talk here if u like
No, people in general just shun me when I care about them. I’m more of a disaster to myself.
@daniel well at least you have people who care about you.
LostLove, there is a boy for you. You can’t give up hope.
@LostLove
yea, i guess, but having people that care about me dosent fix my problems
@LostLove
Im greatful to have them….but im still fucked up
Shun you… I get that myself too… why do you say you’re a disaster to yourself though?
I get your track record gives you the idea that your worthless or whatever….but I never met you and you deny anybody the chance to make a decision for themselves about whether or not they would like you.
When you love and care about yourself, you attract good people who feel the same about themselves. The law of attraction dictates.
I’ve talked to tons of suicidal people and I do not need to bs here….everyone I’ve talked to has been someone I’d go for a coffee with. They’ve all been cool. Can imagine you being simply great. If you want to bash yourself, tat’s up to you though.