My father bought my mother, for $50,000.
A mail order bride. A silver haired geek dating some exotic bombshell, who would have thought.
What happened to not putting a price on an individual’s life?
I have no emotional connection with either of my parents ; but my mother pretends that she loves me to death, in public.
I go to private school, I speak 4 languages, English being my third.
I have everything a girl could ever want, really.
I just text my father if I want anything, and he gets it for me.
I’m one spoiled brat.
Yet I feel empty. Cold and alone.
I’m the “go-to” girl.
I love smiling, it’s my mask.
A mask that became my reality.
I bend over backwards for my friends.
What’s funny is that, no one ever asks me if I’m okay, how my day is going.
It’s always, “have you got some money I can borrow?” “can I get a ride home?” “can you help me with my homework?” “can I vent?”
Yes, to all of the above and more. Much, much more.
And after I do help, it’s like I don’t exist.
The smile and bubbly personality fools everyone.
I may as well be an actress.
I almost forgot.
I’m just a business agreement.
My mother gave birth to me so that my father has someone to take over his company, so he can retire at 40 and she can live the rest of her life nagging me.
I was brought into this world to be used for their own personal gain.
I’m just some robot that will always obey. That’s what I was programmed to do.
I live my life to please others.
Others that don’t care 2 cents about me.
I can’t depend on anyone, but myself.
And that’s how it’s going to be.. for the rest of my life.
So, tell me.
Love… What does it feel like?
What -did- it feel like?
I’ve felt empty… my whole life.
Nobody that walks this planet loves me and no one ever will.
17 years have passed.
I’m still waiting for someone to prove me wrong.
I’m not sure how much longer I can wait…