I am planning on buying a journal to write a few point of views I have and use it as my suicide note.
I’m hoping I’ll end everything next month, on my 20th birthday and leave one big page saying “20 years too late”.
I have no real friends, my life is pathetic, I am extremely depressed and I think it’s all useless. I am desperate. I don’t want help, all I ever wanted was for someone to miss me, but that’s too much to ask for.
Despair is the only thing I feel lately. I spend hours staring at the wall and thinking to myself “what the fuck am I doing?”
Suicide is what will set me free of this meaningless, pathetic existence, yet I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to pull the trigger.
I am seeking for relief until the day comes, hence me posting here.
Feel free to ask absolutely anything or give your thoughts and opinions.
8 comments
I am almost in tears. This breaks my heart. I know nothing I say will change your mind…but I just…I just want to reach out to you. Let you know that someone is here for you. I really, really hope you decide not to do this. There is so much to live for…even when it feels like there’s nothing.
well i hope you find the strength to pull this through…
I am 23 years old and I feel the exactly the same way. I am just waiting for the day I fuck this and I hang myself. I dont know what the fuck is going on in my life
I hope you can find the strength to hang on…just a while longer…
oliveyoumoar
I’m glad to know someone cares, but really, do you? You know nothing about me nor I about you. If I were to commit suicide today you would never know and never miss me.
@Rocky90
Thanks for the optimism.
@born loser
It’s bittersweet to know someone feels like me. Bitter because I share your pain, sweet because I know someone understands me. I sure hope you can move on from this, but I don’t think I can.
@Justathought
I’ve been hanging on for almost 4 years. Constantly in and out of depression, always avoiding what now seems like the inevitable. The same thought of suicide always comes back to my mind and I’m going to snap pretty soon.
Lately I’ve taken to self-injury. Bashed my phone into my head a few times, had a big lump on the forehead. Just yesterday I hit my hand and fingers with a plier. I honestly feel disappointed that one a single place in my hand is sore and no bruises.
Life has taken it’s toll on me and I feel like I have nothing to live for and no matter how hard I try to think of my future it just seems like more trouble to come.
I understand completely lovely…but you DO have something to live for…Keep hope
I feel the exactly same as you, i can’t find a reason to get up everyday always get angry when i saw happy people without problems living their bautiful lifes, anyway if you want to talk or say goodby here i am m8
@Justathought
I just hope I find out what the reason is pretty damn soon because, honestly, I’m tired. Tired of going to sleep to nothing; waking up to nothing.
@hugobadmf
Sometimes I wonder “why bother write anything at all?” I won’t be here to see what the reaction would be. Aside from my mom and maybe my dad everyone else will cry tears of fake sympathy. The people I knew will most likely say “eh, whatever” and go back to their oh-so-lovely life.
I sometimes just feel like I have to vent before I simple go mad, but I am not one to talk about my feelings. I’ve always kept my emotions to myself and I ditch all my friends. I get tired of their perfect little lives. Who knows, maybe I’m just jealous I didn’t grow up to be as normal and happy as them.
Either way, I have no one to talk to and searching for someone online is as pathetic as it gets. But hey, pathetic could be my nickname. It would fit perfectly.
I honestly hope you can wake up one day and snap out of it. I know I can’t.
Going shopping for a gun soon. Maybe one day I’ll just snap and get it over with. Life has become a constant torture for me and I can’t take it anymore.
Cheers.