I’m my own worst enemy. Why do I feel the urge to destroy my life? I’m confused.
I’m gathering more problems at school. Noncompliance and shit. I didn’t go to school today. What’s the point anyway? There was a lot of work to do for today. Didn’t do anything. Didn’t go to this exam. What bugs me even more is that one project I’m working on with some others. I do that voluntarily, actually. But I can’t come up with any energy or motivation. I’m just leaving my friends hanging.
At this rate, I’ll get kicked out soon. And somehow I don’t care. I want them to take away the last straw I’ve been holding on to, my education. I want them to throw me into the abyss that is already devouring me. I guess I just don’t have the guts to do it myself. I feel like waste.
It’s so nice outside today. That pisses me off.
Got up 3 hours ago and I’m tired again. I want to fall asleep and die. That’s utterly retarded.
Dammit death, why art thou so tempting?!
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It is so hard when you feel nothing. Nothing matters so why should we in life matter? I’ve had this feeling for years and it is now to a place where the depth of the abyss is appealing. Do we find strength? Do we unite? It all seems worthless.