I have now realized that my life- and this planet- truly won’t get better. Everything is getting worse and the only future I have will be suffering and pain. All the joy in life is gone.
I’ve decided how I’m going to do it and I’m ordering the supplies I still need. Since this place is no longer moderated I’m throwing this out there… Anyone who needs a suicide “buddy” or assistance let me know. If we’re close enough something might be worked out.
11 comments
me and my friend were going to jump in front of a train last year and tbh like this is all honesty though things have gotten better i wish i did jump in front of the train or the my first suicide attempt worked :/
Hope is an illusion.
like i thought sucide was a great way out but if things reallly ever get to that point again i actually enjoy going crazy just full out bursting and loosing control and i dont mean like some drunnk teenager just dont think and do it
I agree, hope is an illusion, duty is pointless, the world will not get better, and those of us who want to see goodness prevail will only see more disappointment as our lives drag on.
Are you anywhere near New York? If so maybe we can figure something out. But I won’t be ready for a few months; I have to bring down a few enemies first.
Yes, goodness is leaving this world at an astonishing rate. There is no more hope for this planet or mankind. I’ve never felt human anyway. I don’t know if that makes me superior or inferior to humans. All I know is I’m done. Done with the illusion of hope. The world won’t get better. People will never get better. I’ve always felt I don’t belong here and it just gets worse. There seems to be no help for me that works so I’ve lost hope in that too.
I live on the U.S. East Coast but not near New York. However, I might be open to traveling. I won’t be ready for awhile either since I have legal things I want to take care of first. I refuse to let my ex or her family seize control over things and money that I want to go to my family.
thfc181@hotmail.co.uk…..add me
Haha, I like the way you think. Don’t let the greedy bastards profit from your death. I’m in a similar spot… If I die or vanish right now, control of all my things would go to the people I hate the most. That’s the ONLY thing that’s keeping me alive right now.
Also, although I’m certainly not rich, I want to do something with my money before I go. I wish I could just donate it to a good cause, but I’ve learned that even the “good causes” are corrupt.
I know that wicked people will win, no matter what I do with my money, but I don’t want my last moments to be poisoned with the idea of their ugly faces stripping me of everything I’ve worked for. I’ve been dreading the legal stuff – it’s so depressing – but it has to be done, eh?
i live in ny. i’m so down. the only thing stopping me is my lack of guts. i’ve alienated myself from all of my friends, my anxiety is so bad i can’t leave my house anymore. i don’t know how all the sheeple can just walk around acting like society is okay when it’s in complete turmoil. everyone knows it, but no one does anything about it. for all the dickwads looking at this post saying YOU do something, stfu. i can’t do anything. and neither can 99.9% of people b/c you’re not important and have NO power or deciding factor. i hate american culture i hate where i live. i have nothing to live for. a younger brother but that’s about the only reason i feel guilt. there is nothing but nothingness in my future and my past is haunting. therefore, the present is the shittiest time of all, looking back to horribleness, looking forward to nothingness. my ex boyfriend took all of our financial gains after we broke up, i ended up getting back 5 grand but what’s that compared to one’s life savings? we were together for 8 years and he had a three month affair with my best friend and slept with 3 other of my friends. with friends like that, i’d say enemies are an upgrade. this happened last year and i still cry about it every single day, probably bc she rubbed it in my face the entire time and i didnt realize what she was talking about until after i found out. my parents have been kicking me out of my house and taking me back since i was 13. they don’t want me either. i suffer from a syndrome that causes many irreversible medical conditions and i feel weak and tired always. my life was always, i’ve always been depressed, but it wasn’t always like this. i can’t get up in the morning anymore. i made good money at a good job, i modeled for a few years, and that kept me on the edge of hope. that there might be a future. fuck a future… i feel like i’m waiting for nothing.
I wish i could be your suicide partner but im very far from you , i think the same as you this world long ago went to shit, theres no point on keep going
I don’t mind the legal stuff. It helps give me a peace of mind. I like to know there’s a better chance that my possessions go to who I want them to go to.
You probably also want to look into getting a living will and a medical power of attorney. It reduces the chance of EMTs, doctors or hospitals from trying to revive you or keep you alive with machines. That’s in case you’re found before you completely die.
I suggest reading Final Exit by Derek Humphry. It covers different non-violent methods of self-termination as well as making sure everything is taken care of and in order before you go. He targets people who are dying from a terminal illness or have a crippling, painful disease with no cure. Unfortunately, he fails to see untreatable chronic, severe depression or other untreatable mental illnesses as the same.
Humphry may actually realize that there are cases where it’s untreatable, crippling and unbearable but since society doesn’t he says he doesn’t to reduce law suits. Until society realizes that not all mental illnesses are treatable and give the sufferer a horrible quality of life people will continue to believe that all mental illnesses can be cure and all people “fixed”.
Feed that person a happy pill and they’ll be O.K.! /sarcasm
I’d like to check out Final Exit, but one of my many neuroses is that I cannot read books anymore. The act of reading a book triggers such awful memories & pain. Oddly enough, I can read online books from my computer so maybe I’ll try that.
It’s funny what you say about Humphry’s attitude: treating mental illness like no big deal. I’ve had that argument with many people, but I guess if you’ve never experienced the agony of mental disease it’s hard to imagine it in the same vein as cancer or something. But it’s still BS. I’ve never experienced cancer but I can imagine the pain they go through. Maybe you’re right that Humphry is just saying that to avoid lawsuits & such. What a stupid society we live in.
About the legal stuff, yeah I’ll have to do it sooner or later. It’s just so depressing because I hate planning my death. I’d rather keep it out of mind until the very last moment. That’s also why I can’t set a date; I want the act of suicide to be impulsive and unplanned. That’s the only way I can go through with it, if that makes any sense. All my big decisions in life have been that way …just put it off & think about something else… then one day, screw it, just do it. I’m also very susceptible to the impulses of others, meaning if you come over with a gun and say ‘hey lets shoot ourselves’ I’d do it in a heartbeat. I just have trouble planning this sort of thing.
Sorry about the ramble, I forgot my point…