Im sitting on the beach 5 hours from home waiting on the charcoal to get ready and doubts are combing to me. What if im wrong? What if there is a god? what if I wake up with brain damage? what if I succeed? its too late to go back now. I spent way too much of my parents money. I’ve ruined relationships. I’ve let my good grades drop to straight F’s. I can’t go back.
Pardon my grammar, its a bit cold and im typing from a phone.
12 comments
Are you gonna do the charcoal method in your car?
Please don’t do this. Please call a suicide hotline. Your doubts are telling you that you should not be doing this. You can go back. Your parents care about you much more than money. You can build new relationships or rebuild old ones. You can retake classes. Please don’t do this.
Yeah im going to or may do the charcoal in my car method. And there’s more to it than money or classes. Now that I’ve come so far I can’t just go back like nothing happened. No one had any idea I was contemplating this. Ill have to be someone completely different. I’ve always been so sure of everything. How can I go back and look anyone in the face now?
The people who care for you will be happy you are alive. They may be shocked at first, but they will accept you for who you are. They love you and want to see you alive.
because you are human, no one is perfect, no one is certain of everything, that is impossible. People understand that mistakes happen, that’s why you know it’s possible to turn back, because there are people in your life that can accept you for who you are, and who you want to be. It’s never too late to get the help you need if you really want it.
are you still there?
I am. I’ve just dumped the charcoal in the water and I’ve no idea if im happy about it or not. Either way I guess ill drive back to school now. Ill call my parents tomorrow then probably drive there after alot of much needed sleep.
I’m glad, keep in touch okay, let us know how you are. I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I personally care. I know how it feels to feel unwanted/unneeded, but I am the lucky few to have a best friend who accepts and understands my pain for 9-10 years. It does take time to find those people, I know it does. But they do exist, and you need me to be, I can be one of them.
So glad you changed your mind!!!! Good luck for talking with your parents, be 100% honest with them; I am a mum myself, and would want my sons to be honest no matter what, and then support them, no matter what.
You’re not alone,
We’ll brave this storm
And face today.
I tried burning charcoal in my room 10yrs ago. Burned my carpet and set the fire alarm.
lol..
Well, it’s been an awkward day. Still don’t know if I’m happy with my decision, but time will tell. Also, I wouldn’t have burned my carpet, I had concrete slabs lain over my seat where I was to place the grills 🙂