Life is a dream and growing up we are all influenced to chase our dreams. I chased every dream I ever had and none of them ever manifested into anything but a realization that nothing good will ever come iN my life. I have never found any love because I am ugly and too smart to have any patience for the stupidity required to connect with most people. For this reason I invested all of my love into good friends. However, eventually I lost all of my so called “friends” and realized how selfish and unloyal they all were once anything better came along in their lives. Finally, my last hope was pursuing a career as a physician. I was the valedictorian of my graduating class from the college of biomedical sciences, did very well on my MCAT and had more clinical, scientific and teaching experience than any other pre-med student I have ever encountered. Yet, I was not surprised when I was not accepted into any of the medical schools to which I applied. Such is my life. Nothing I can or can’t control has ever worked out for me. I am now a decaying opiate addict. I have no religious beliefs and am suicidal, yet I am reluctant to end my life. My experiences have taught me that things can always be worse so I believe if there is an after life, it will undoubtably be worse than my current situation. Furthermore, I am constantly adding salt to my wounds as I can’t help but obsess about how bad my life is. I cannot live or die. I am a coward. My only saving grace is that I enjoy smoking weed and playing video games. I will probably be dead soon from a heroine overdose or suicide. I do not hate this world, however, I understand that if I had anything in would probably be just as selfish and ignorant as all of the people that have made my life so miserable. If there is anyone out there, I am open to any opinions.