Well, I hate my life as usual.  I am glad that I made it through today.  I watched my young daughter sleeping in my lap.  She wiggled about and I studied her quite a bit.  I felt ashamed for her shameful rocky start to life.  I never understood cutting oneself until for what ever reason I did it myself just over a year ago.  I cut my entire leg from the ankle to just above the knee.  I did it over and over until I just decided to stop.  Of course, I was too ashamed to get stiches so I left the larger cuts heal open.  I am mad after the fact becuase I have some mighty scars to remember this “event”.   If you are thinking about doing it, please DONT. Those scars will never go away.  Does anybody know why they would cut themself?  I cannot pin point the actual reason that I did it.  And, a side and random thought – I wish I had friends. Does anybody know of a internet site that you can go to find friends – there are a zillion dating and hook up sites but friend only sites are hard to come by – at least for me.
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2 comments
I did it in order to release the anger and frustration, i hurt myself so i don’t have to hurt others. It makes those feelings go away. It is true true that you say that after the cutting you feel “ashamed” because the clean cut scars WILL show, and people WILL ask questions, so maybe it’s worth to try another way to blow off steam, this is to all of you cutters out there ;). Ever tried and endurance run till you drop? outside of course: better air and landscape 😉 I sometimes did it out of sheer boredom since everything felt so gray and dull.
I’m glad that we all stopped cutting ourselves. You do bear the shame and memories of why you did it in the first place. Its embarrassing to discussion. But we’ve gotten past it.