I think I’ve discovered the lesson I’m meant to learn in this life. That is… suicide is O.K. People fear suicide and always want to “help” someone because if someone kills himself it makes others have to question their own life and meaning.
I believe that deep down everybody is unhappy with life and feels it’s not worth it. This is why deep down everybody is unhappy and feels empty. This is why humans treat each other so badly and carry on like they do. However, people have convinced themselves that life is worth it, because once you realize the truth it is difficult and chaotic.
It was very hard for me, but now I’ve accepted that the big lesson in life- for me anyway- is to learn that life isn’t worth it and to gain the courage to escape this disillusioned world we’re all trapped in.
Wanting to escape to freedom isn’t bad. Was it wrong of the slaves to run away and want freedom? No. In fact, they were heroes to many. They didn’t know if their new life of freedom would be better or worse, but they took that chance anyway. They knew they couldn’t stand their current situation any longer and wanted to escape to a hopefully better existence. This is with me except the whole world is my slavery. My only escape to freedom- or something different at least- is death.
I’m sure people will look back at my death as just another mentally ill person killing himself- because people are afraid to question life, their existence and philosophies. So be it. They can stay here and rot in this hellhole. That’s their decision.
I actually feel better knowing the purpose and main lesson I’m meant to learn in this life. My whole life and all my pain and suffering was meant to lead up to this. I feel at peace now with it knowing I won’t have to suffer much longer. I feel enlightened.
I just need to prepare now and take care of some stuff. It’s actually nice knowing when you’re going to die. That way you can make sure everything is taken care of before you go. I have found my new best friend and comfort and his name is death. Death, thank you for doing for me something no one else, including God (if he exists), could do for me. I understand now.