I think I’ve discovered the lesson I’m meant to learn in this life. That is… suicide is O.K. People fear suicide and always want to “help” someone because if someone kills himself it makes others have to question their own life and meaning.
I believe that deep down everybody is unhappy with life and feels it’s not worth it. This is why deep down everybody is unhappy and feels empty. This is why humans treat each other so badly and carry on like they do. However, people have convinced themselves that life is worth it, because once you realize the truth it is difficult and chaotic.
It was very hard for me, but now I’ve accepted that the big lesson in life- for me anyway- is to learn that life isn’t worth it and to gain the courage to escape this disillusioned world we’re all trapped in.
Wanting to escape to freedom isn’t bad. Was it wrong of the slaves to run away and want freedom? No. In fact, they were heroes to many. They didn’t know if their new life of freedom would be better or worse, but they took that chance anyway. They knew they couldn’t stand their current situation any longer and wanted to escape to a hopefully better existence. This is with me except the whole world is my slavery. My only escape to freedom- or something different at least- is death.
I’m sure people will look back at my death as just another mentally ill person killing himself- because people are afraid to question life, their existence and philosophies. So be it. They can stay here and rot in this hellhole. That’s their decision.
I actually feel better knowing the purpose and main lesson I’m meant to learn in this life. My whole life and all my pain and suffering was meant to lead up to this. I feel at peace now with it knowing I won’t have to suffer much longer. I feel enlightened.
I just need to prepare now and take care of some stuff. It’s actually nice knowing when you’re going to die. That way you can make sure everything is taken care of before you go. I have found my new best friend and comfort and his name is death. Death, thank you for doing for me something no one else, including God (if he exists), could do for me. I understand now.
4 comments
I relate completely and my destiny to Death’s door is before fall this year. It aches me I must wait this out till even then
I can only agree. Life is a slow and painful way of dying.
I have to admit that this is quite an interesting perspective..,
so as to befriend ‘Death’, contrary to what majority of people would say or believe.
although I do have to say that it doesn’t have to be like this
I think I remember another valid perspective on Living is simply:
– because it’s in our Human Nature to NOT wanting to end our life (eg: even people here have such a *very* hard time to kill themselves!)
– you’re already BORN in this life. only this *ONE* life, well, at least the Life that we all can *know* for NOW. so, shouldn’t that Life feel very precious & even ‘miraculous’ in a way?
However, through this blue website I’ve slowly also learned & starting to accept that life’s circumstances for each person is different,
and one website that I’ve read said it true, I guess, that: when the coping mechanism can’t beat the PAIN in life,..then most probably a person’s mindset about Life is changing drastically,
the mindset of Life suddenly changed into the mindset of Death.
and since I’m no God, nor know the “Objective Truth”,
I guess this is why I can still somehow also accept this interesting perspective about “Death”.
so thanks for sharing, Radar..
Your perspective on life is extremely powerful- because it recognizes the notion that the individual’s life is 100% relevant only to the individual themselves- they have every right to decide how to deal with it, how to spend and if, so choosing, whether to end it. The right to suicide, even if widely shunned and looked down on in society, should be a recognisable right to every single individual that’s alive today. After all, no one really chooses to be born.. at one moment, you’re just a mindless collection of a bunch of biological cells and then, several moments later, a full-fledged consious human being. The biological process, even though it has a scientific expalnation is utterly mindless and spontanteous and the notion of free will as pertaining to the individual’s decision whether to be born or not is obviously inherently absent.