I just can’t take it.

Theres a lot of drama at my school. I used to have 2 best friends but ones of them back stabbed me and i just wanted to get rid of the bad friends. So now i only have one friend. She recently stole my clothes. How i know okay… She spent the night one night and she got mad at me and went to sleep and when i woke up she was gone (her mom picked her up) So the next day i was looking for my fave shirt but couldnt find it so i jst wore something else. At school i come and shes wearing it and shes wearing my sisters jeans.So i asked her and she said no. She said she got it from wal-mart. I asked her again she said she got it from hollister. She said she called them (it was a aeropostale shirt) Then my birth day passed recently and she said shed give me the clothes that i ‘lost’ for my birth day. She gave them when i let her spend the night again (she said that was the only way she could give them to me.) Then The next day i find her wearing some of my socks. (i couldnt find them) She said she got them from wal-mart when i originally got them from Journeys. They were mixmatched. She didnt give back the jeans yet either. And i just want to get away from stuff like this. They only reason i didn’t get mad was because she was my only friend. Now im just sick of it i shouldnt care what people think of me even if i have no friends. This is just one part that stresses me out. I just feel…like i’d be better off dead. This is the first night i actually thought about being suicidal. Its just i just can’t stand it. I wish i had mental problems just so i’d have a reason for being the way i am. I hate myself. At school I’m not really me because i care what they think. And what they’ll say. I keep trying to be myself but i just can’t do it. I hate being hated or loved for someone that i’m not. I  really just want to end my life. I have so many problems and just the little things hurt me the most. I’m just some brat that crys and thinks that I’m the good person and the person that made me cry is just the worst person ever. I hate the way that i am. You reading this may just think I’m a wimp cause these problems arent major. I just can’t stand it. No one likes me…not even myself…at all. The only friend i’d say i have is my dog. I really just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I don’t care what i have to go threw to die. I wouldnt care if i had to die slowly because it’d be over atleast. And if i never get the courage to actually go and actually try my hardest to die , I hope that 2012 is real. Just to escape this horrid world.