I really thought I could do this; keep going, and actually live this time.
I’m drowning in my own thoughts, they keep coming and coming and they won’t stop once they’re here. Any other time I just CAN’T think. But times like now I can’t STOP thinking. There must be something wrong with me.
Everything important has been taken away from me by force, and now I have neither the strength or will to fight it.
Why can’t I just die?
They say they care, but they don’t know me.
I don’t even know me.
As I once heard someone say, If my mind is gone, why can’t my body go with it?
I wonder that every time I can think.
Why CAN’T I just DIE?
I’ve nothing left, except FOR my good-for-nothing life. I have nothing, no one to live for. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want this… it scares me. I hate it. I hate the thought of dying. I hate living.
What is the truth, to me?
Do I want to live or die?
I don’t know… both, maybe. But of course I can’t have that.
I’m afraid of living, but I don’t want to die.
What is wrong with me…?