I Want to die!

April 30th, 2011by Marples

Hi, my name is Jordan, my life is a complete disaster. My family are fantastic but my personal issues are awful. i am 18 and recently split up with my girlfriend of over 2 and a half years, the day we split up i found out she was texting another lad and wanted to meet up with him. i was absolutely furious with this. all of the belongings she gave me i walked to hers which is about 4 miles away and i left them on her door. she later phoned me and confirmed she was texting this other person. she always lies to me now and she is now with this person she has been texting and she didn’t tell me i found this out over “facebook” my heart immediately dropped and from then i have wanted to kill myself. i have spoken to her on the phone around 2 hour ago and she didn’t want to listen to me. she said she will not split up with her partner for me because she never wants to get back with me so i feel why should i be here? why do i need the hassle when i can just leave and never know anything than blackness? i am not scared about killing myself i just am scared for my mother/father. i don’t want them to feel lost without me.
i used to spend every day with my ex, every second of my life was with her. i used to share my secrets with her. everything i knew i shared. and now i have nothing? i go to sleep around 7-am and wake up at 2pm in the afternoon and cry all day/night. there is nothing for me now. i have no-one i can speak to so i’m posting here to see if anyone can help me, i do not wish to speak with a psychiatrist or anything like that. i just want to speak with a “normal” person who has had this experience and how they survived it. so i’ve taken the pills and just waiting for the effects to kick in. (hopefully i will die) but what if i don’t what am i supposed to do?

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