I’m tired of life- it has nothing to offer anymore- everyday is exactly the same and no matter how i try, nothing changes- it’s dull and boring and lifeless- it feels like life has been predestined for me in a sense, i don’t feel i have control over it (like living out some sort of prewritten script) and i don’t have anything to gain from it anymore whatsoever. I’m always expanding way more time, focus and energy on doing things than necessary and everything’s meaningless to the extreme. 21, never liked a girl to ask her, out, have no career in mind, bare minimum ambtion, high-school education and no interests, living at homeÂ
I’ve always wondered what the beyond is like- is it like sleep but only 24/7? If so, that would be magical- sleep is the best thing in the world, but you can’t control or make your body sleep all the time, because there’s a biological rhythm to all this and all of that. I always really yearned for eternal rest, just in dreamland for all eternity or if not, then just eternal sleep. No more dealing with shit anymore, no more dissatisfaction and feeling weak, no more longing for some kind of life but living out each day just like the last- grey, dull, and lifeless. I don’t have anything interesting to add in conversation and don’t have interests or or opinions or knowledge or anything- I’ve basically isolated myself from friends and it’s just ad tedium everyday- same old thing everyday and pointlessness, sheer pointless ness of it all. We all die at the end so why go through all this until you’re old and useless? Just to brag you did this shit and that shit and blah- your income, your relationships, your education, your career, your knowledge, your intelligence blah blah while sitting in a wheelchair?
I don’t see the point in this. So my plan tonight is to get wasted- drink two tall glasses of the strongest drink i can find in the fridge while the family is asleep and then throw myself off the balcony (i live on the 7th floor). I’ll make sure to put on my dark sunglasses and close my eyes while i’m falling so it goes by faster and not nearly as frightening. I know there’s a very low risk of winding up alive with serious injuries and disabled, so i think my plan is good and i’ll cross over to the beyond instantly and see what’s there. Forever asleep and no more anything, except dreams maybe.
8 comments
good plan bye
thanks. i hope i actually go through this. Suicide is a choice, not a wekaness.
I like your style straight to the point, so bye
ballzy plan man hope it works
cheer mate
I didn’t attempt yesterday obviously but will be doing so tonight. There’s no risk of winding up alive with serious injury/disabled after falling from a 7th balcony is there? Can some assure me of this?
Should i care about leaving my family potentially devasted? I wouldn’t even be alive to be the witness of it all so it doesn’t matter right? I stick with my pro-choice argument- no one really choses to be born and we’re all a victim of the human condition to some degree or another. Can someone please comment on all this?
Thanks
you could fall but n wind up parloized n yes your families ganna be absoutley devastated n they r all gana miss u alot
Ill be probably falling onto the roof of the main entrance- even thought it’s higher up than the ground, it’s a harder surface since there’s pretty much merely grass on both sides otherwise. Even thought there’s a risk of being paralyzed, i reckon i’ll probably pass out and bleed to death by the time anyone notices that something’s up (in the middle of the night). what do you think?