I’m very sheltered… I have boyfriends in real life but I also try some long distance things.. I ended up having feelings for someone who lives all the way across the united states. We dated for almost a year but things got so serious..I got scared and broke up with him… I didn’t want to but I felt like i had to. He’s the only one who has had my heart for a couple years. After taking some time to figure out how I could do this.. I tried to get close to him again but I felt like he was pushing me away. He ended up telling me he wasn’t in love with me anymore.. I still remember when he said.. He knew I was the one when I had a pregnancy scare (long story). He knew he would be by my side no matter what.
I feel like.. Everyone has a reason to live, they just have to find it. I thought I found my reason… But he left… What do I have now? I have pills a blade and a suicide note beside me. I’ve been in and out of the hospital because of previous attempts.. There won’t be any more fails.. I promise that much.
I lost my reason.