My HSC is coming up – the one that’s supposedly the most important test in my life. Right now are the half yearly exams, with only the last English paper to go. I’ve spent half the exam time for math calculating what is the maximum score I could get (what I’ve answered) and it was around 30%. For the english paper, we need to write a dialogue and an essay which we had to prepare earlier and memorise for the exam. I’ve finished the dialogue but haven’t started memorising it or even writing the essay, the deadline is in three days and I can’t be f*cked doing anything. Everything has left me and I’m a failure. The fact that I’m still here just solidifies it all. So I was planning on getting my first zero in a major exam. I might even kill myself before then, but ugh there’s that one thing still holding me back. I don’t know what, it’s just that instantaneous death seems to sudden to me
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3 comments
Dear Tiff,
If you fail, you can always retake.
Even if you get expelled, you can study something else, maybe even something that appeals better to you.
If your finances does not allow you to repeat, you can always work first and enjoy a simple life until you feel like pursuing education again.
Even if you never want to study again, you can always find a simple job and you would still be a contributor to society, unlike maybe some high rollers who spend money on posh cars or gold plated swimming pools.
I would say a waiter who puts smiles on customers’ faces is of more contribution to society.
In whole, don’t over look the whole grades thing. People are over obsessed with grades nowadays. Grades are great to have but life is still life without grades.
and Life without grades is still wonderful.
same here. but at the same time when I end myself I’m kinda excited. maybe everything will go black and my existence fades away. if that’s the case, what’s the worse that could happen? it’ll be just like how it was before I was born. which isn’t a bad thing at all.
besides that though, who knows what could happen? you have to stare death in the face and not be to afraid to jump. like saito said from the great film inception;
‘don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man (or woman in your case lol), filled with regret, waiting to die alone?’
the same thing applies here, I think.
Great points, and I agree with you.