Took me a long time, but I perfected my suicide method. The success rate is 99.9%. I left .1% off just because there could always be errors in anything. It’s a really painful, yet accessible method of dying. The pain should only last about 3-5 minutes at most. I was just so proud of myself that I had to brag about it a bit here.
That being said, my life got worse. It’s still getting worse each day. I find myself more alone and desolate each day. The loneliness in my heart has sunk deep into my soul. The depression that has strangled me has tightened its grip. I’m garbage that needs to be disposed of. Something that no one wants to be near or with, only to be used and betrayed and lied to. I hate myself and I hate my life..
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You don’t have to be alone.
I am though. I’ll always end up alone.
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. ~Anne Lamott
If I may ask, how old are you? aloneness is usually just a mirage, there’s always someone who cares, just maybe not in the way you want. but it’s still a powerful thing.
@lostindespair: There’s not really anyone who cares about me. I mean, there might be some who can say they do, but they dont’ mean it. I’ve been abandoned by friends and lovers and everything, even childhood friends and family. I sorta gave up hope on myself.
Deep Abyss, I hope you check this in the am. abandonments happen, that’s the sad fact of life. my family and I have had a falling out, I;m disowned, most of my childhood friends have went kaput. but I made new ones, better ones. and I’m sure you can do the same. Losing hope on yourself is a horrible thing, but I know you can come out of it.
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. ~Henry Van Dyke
Yeah, I’ve made new friends. They’re all the same though. Every single one of them. They’re all fakes. They do the same thing and then leave and ignore or something. I’m sort of tired of trying all of that. I can’t come out of it anymore. Thing about me is… I know exactly what’s wrong and how to fix it. Some people dont’ know that sort of thing about themselves, but I do. Yet, I can’t do it alone. Which just makes me feel more hopeless.
That’s true… but the girl I loved only thinks about herself and time now. I was in a relationship where she and I would lose track of time being together. But then, she stopped that. She completely changed and completely didn’t care. Not even if I live or die. She gave up on me. My friends did too. My family has also. So I just finally gave up on myself too.
im with u deep abyss, i just lose friend after friend after friend and in the loneliness my heart implodes. i want to go home, to a place in death where we can all unite as one like a big family.
For one thing, 3-5 mins is the length of a pop song. That can seem like a long time to be in pain, man.
Secondly, how do you know for sure that no one loves you? And even if they don’t, what’s to say that no one ever will? You seem intelligent and comprehensible, which is more than many people I know.
I’ve always had difficulty ‘connecting’ with people in my life. Even now, I only have 2 friends, and one of them is changing to the point where I don’t think we’ll be friend for long. The other lives some distance away, so I don’t see her often.
Throughout my life, I have often been treated like shit, humiliated, made a fool of and rejected. I’ve had one boyfriend and he was an asshole to me. But I’ll tell you what.
YOU HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE. IF SOMEONE TREATS YOU BADLY, TELL THEM TO FUCK THEMSELVES THEN WALK AWAY. When people see you have self-respect, they automatically assume a more respectable attitude towards you, because thats how humans’ minds tend to work.
I know it’s a cliche and I really used to hate when people said this to me, but no one can love you if you can’t love yourself. It is fucking true. I’m not big-headed, far from it. I still have issues with myself, I’m still shy (except on the internet of course) but I have learned to like myself at least. I used to think, I thought I was a good person, why do so many people treat me like shit then? There must be something seriously wrong with me. NO. I was giving off nervous energy oftentimes which told assholes (a LOT of people happen to be assholes) to treat me like I was nothing. Subtle changes to your self can make big changes to your life. I always think, at least I have myself and my health. And fuck it, I’m only 20. I don’t NEED anyone in particular at this time. One day I’m going to have my own family and if my only purpose is to have a child and make then feel loved like I wished I was, then I’m quite happy with that.
The only people who are garbage are the people who treat others like shit. And paedophiles, they’re certainly garbage. You don’t sound like you fit into these categories.
Happiness wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for sadness. How can you be happy if you’ve never been sad? People who have had a very hard life appreciate happiness all the more. When you find it (which you will, if you allow yourself to when it comes along), you wont take it for granted like many people seem to do.
I care enough to tell you I don’t want you to kill yourself or die and I don’t even know you. Somebody out there (me at least) is thinking of you, feeling for you and sincerely hoping you do not put an end to your life.
I’ve been warned that some of these posts are fake, or over-dramatised or written by attention-seekers but I don’t care. If I can help one person from sealing their fate like I once tried to do, then I’m happy with that.
Bare this in mind. Life is ever-changing. It wont always be so dark. Take care of yourself.
What is your method?
I think everyone feels like that once in a while. But not me, I pretty much feel like that alll the time, 24/7, so I understand how you feel. But you are not not NOT garbage!! Please don’t feel like that 🙁 I’m not gonna try to convince you not to do it, it’s your decision after all, but i really hope you can find something to live for and not kill yourself. I’m on the same boat, a little different situation (Severe depression, social anxiety, EDs) but I get how you feel. Please don’t give up on yourself just yet <3
Whats the method? do share….
You can find new friends who won’t give up on you.
My friend, I understand, I feel the same way you do. You want to change but you need the guiding hand of a loved and trusted someone. It will happen, remember, there’s almost 7 billlion people out there, there will be one for you
If I had to guess his method I would say dousing himself in gasoline and lighting himself on fire. That’s certainly agonizing and would take a few minutes. Though being rescued would be far worse than death, even for a person who wants to live.
If pain isn’t an issue, a knife in carotid artery would cause loss of consciousness in less than 10 seconds, but it obviously takes a lot of willpower.
But he seems proud of thinking of it, so it’s most likely something more creative.
I suggest you keep thinking, bro.
doesn’t the fire kill the nerves and stuff so you don’t feel anything?
Imagine how many nerves you have all over your body, they will all be sending a pain signal to your brain at the same time. Excruciating. I will admit earlier in the week i was thinking of doing this but then i started to think of all the things that could go wrong. I don’t think this is deeps method, its not 99.9%