I mess up everything
I can’t even get my own death right
everything is going under, faster and deeper with no way to stop it
even my parents don’t love me, what kind of person’s parents don’t love them
mine
my fault, my life, my choice
except I have no choices left, no decisions to make
7 comments
i feel you… i have sort of the same…my parents are over caring but when i need then to understand something like that i dont have autism but a mental problem… thy just wount listen an dtell me to just leave it at autism couse its easyer… well that is helping when getting therapy…i cant even ask for one couse thy all think its autism…the thing with autism is you cant do a thing about it…so no one cares about getting me help…i have tryed so hard to get them to understand but no one cares…
yeah, my parents actually had me tested over and over again for autism hoping the doctors would finally tell them i had it, but i have depression. even when i told them i was sexually assaulted and wanted them to help me pay for counseling, they said no. told me that if they were ever going to help me it was so i would get over my stubbornness and self-centeredness, not to give in to me just seeking attention.
that is my problem 2…i cant pay for it myself…and if thy know i was going thare thy would just get in the way and block everything so i cant realy go…even if i had the monny…i sometimes just wich thy were dead…then i could try to get my life on teh road…but guess its selfish ore something like that…but i dont see an other way…yea writing down: “i told you i did not have autism” and kill myself…
that’s just a horrible parents you have there…but you know what? I often wish i had worse parents that would care less so it would be easier for me to leave this world with a clear conscience.
There is always hope in what you’re trying to achieve, just keep pressing. What do you really want at the bottom of your heart?
I know how you feel my dad wouldn’t care if i dropped dead, but we’ll get through it together
Its like I’m scared of actually killing myself, I don’t have the courage for that. But I don’t want to live either. I don’t have the strength for that.
My dear one, I know how you feel. I truly do. Please be safe a while longer. Please try just a little longer